She slammed the door behind her and quickly rested her back on it for her kneels failed her the moment she said goodbye to her friends. The room started to spin, the walls got even smaller. Heart in hand, she shook her head vigorously and dragged herself in, even though her body wouldn't bulge.
She sat on a stool, looked into the mirror and stared intensely at the other person. This person was beautiful, an epitome of splendour and grace. Elegance undefined, grandeur and peculiarity.
And then, she picked up a wiper, ready to wipe off her happiness, ready to wipe away what brought joy to her. She reached for her forehead n wiped. A part of her happiness was gone, she wiped yet again, and another part of her felicity vanished. As she wiped from the foundation to the concealer, then to the eye shadow and every other cosmetic product applied, her happiness depreciated. She let the lashes fall, it felt like her heart fell alongside them. And the contact lens? They did go off too.
Now the person starring back at her started to look strange. She let her hair down and starred back into the mirror. The sight was terrifying. She hated to see this face. The face that reminded her that she was no better looking than a monkey. Though many times, she had tried to console herself and told herself that the monkey's mother loved it that way. She undoubtedly always failed. She was bare, rid of her mask.
"Why can't you just accept this you, why?" "Because its not me, this is not me, I want to be more beautiful, i want those cute lips, small eyes, straight nose, fair skin. I want to be beautiful, this isn't me, nooooo!!" " then who is it?" That fierce little voice from within wouldn't stop. "Look in the mirror, tell me, who is it you see?" Crying, now dragging her black, long silky hair with her fingers like a vulture trying diligently to shred a carcass apart. "Go away" "Just leave me alone" she said quietly. "You haven't looked in the mirror yet" "What do you want" tears streaming down profusely.
"I just want to be beautiful, can't I be beautiful" "Look at the mirror, look at those bulgy eyes, you see them? And how white they are? Do you see how graced they are by your long scanty lashes? and how pampered they are with your full dark over grown eyebrows? And your nose. Yes your nose, God did know it suited you best, else he would have had another given you. Have you ever touched it to see how soft it is?
How about your full round cheeks, the type many young men would wanna teasingly play with. Oh! Now pls do just look at your full lips. When Mr right comes, you'd be too very grateful you had this lips. And didn't God give you too much already? Still he decided to add to your loamy shining skin, black silky long hair. The type many ladies would spend for. By now, she'd started starring at the mirror, taking notes of what the voice kept saying.
"Tell me, why do you hate yourself and cover up in cosmetics Adaobi. Oh! I forgot, you are Susan with friends, but when you are in between these walls, you become the wretched, ugly, good for nothing Adaobi and you even hate your parents for the name you were given. There's no happiness in being fake, stop trying too hard.
" now look deeply, what do you see? Her conscience had dealt severely with her. She stayed calm and looked deeply. She really did see beauty. She now wondered why she couldn't see all this while. She was blindfolded by what other people would think, she was carried away with being too much like someone else. If only she had paid a little more attention to herself. She picked her comb and stretched her hair. She stood up and was ready to face the world as Adaobi, Susan was dead.