Love does not depend on knowledge, education or authority. It is situated beyond the behavior. It is the only charity of this life that we can't lose. Finally, it is the only thing we can truly give. In a world of illusions, of dreams and emptiness, love is the source of truth. However, in spite of the power and greatness of her, she is elusive. Some people spend their whole existence looking for her. We fear that we'll never find her, and when we discover it, we fear losing her or treat her as something that belongs to us, fear not to escape us.
Our conception of love is the one that we have been inoculated in childhood. The most common image is that of the romantic ideal: to meet my soul mate, we feel wonderfully well and we think that this happiness will last the whole life. Of course, we have a broken heart when, in reality, we are confronted with a daily newspaper that no longer has that romantic, when we realize that the love that we give and receive is in general conditional. Even the feelings we have for family or for friends are based on expectations and conditions. Inevitably, they are not satisfied, and the reality of everyday life becomes slowly the appearance of a nightmare. Once dispelled these illusions romantic, we wake up in a world where this love, about which I dreamed, as a child, is absent. Then, from a point of view adult, perceive love in a lucid manner, with the realism and bitterness.
Fortunately, genuine love to which everyone aspires is possible, but the image that we have about it does not allow us to discover it. It's not about dreaming of a soul mate or the perfect boyfriend. The wholeness that we seek is present in us, here and now. It is enough to remember her.
Most of us aspire to unconditional love, founded on what we are rather than on what we do or don't do. The more fortunate of us will know, perhaps, for a few minutes throughout the entire existence. It is sad to say, but the love that we receive is almost always conditional. We are loved for our altruism, for our account in the bank, for our laughter, for the manner in which we treat our children or our house, and so on. It is very hard to love others as they are. We could even say that we're looking for reasons not to love them.
Can't you just feel happy and at peace in a loving relationship than if you eliminate the conditions to which she was subjected. Unfortunately, in a general way, how much more we love someone, the more conditional love is. We have been inoculated in childhood that it was a rule – we could even say that we have been conditioned with this vision of things. To change this preconceived idea, you have to go through a difficult process of. It is illusory to hope in a love absolute, but a love that is authentic and sustainable is entirely possible.
One of the rare relationships marked by a love is the a tie with very small children, because they don't care about our activities, our account of the bank, or of our achievements. They love us, pure and simple. Then, we conditioned rewarding them when we smile, or get good grades at school, or when they are "good". We have much to learn from the feelings that we bear our children. If we love without conditions, a little more time, I create a very different world.
The conditions at which we love vexing the stronger our relationship with each other. By removing them, we discover new and wonderful aspects of love.
The biggest obstacle is the fear of not being paid in return. If we live in this fear, is because we don't realize that true love consists in giving, not in receiving.
If we spend time evaluating the love he received, not only that we will never feel loved, but we have the feeling to be systematically deceived. Not because it would be a reality, but for that fact that "calculate" is not a gesture of love. If you live the feeling of not being loved, is not because you are not loved, it is because your pent up love.
When you quarrel with a close, do you think you are angry because of what this person did or didn't do. In reality, if you are in this state, it is because you have closed your heart, because you remember your own love. Should not deprive the others of your love, under the pretext that, according to you, they don't deserve it. And if you don't deserve her again? You will forever cease to love your mother, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother? In contrast, if you express your feelings in spite of what you could do, you will notice changes, you will discover the infinite power of love. You will see that their heart is open wide.
To be able to open our heart, we must make the effort to consider things differently. If we close, if we are intolerant, it is often because we don't understand each other. I don't understand why she didn't call, nor why it is so noisy, and then decide to not love her anymore. We focus too much on the wounds, the sadness, the unjust treatment that I have endured. In reality, we betray ourselves by refusing to offer you our smile, our understanding, our love. We keep in our possession the greatest gift that God granted us. Refusal to give love is much more serious than what the other could do.
Very early, we learn not to trust in men, in women, in marriage, in parenting, in family, in colleagues and in life itself. All these have been passed by well-meaning people who believed that acting for our own good. They don't even realize they condemned such to pass on with love.
However, in the depths of our being, we know that our destiny is to live and to love fully, to live great adventures throughout our entire existence. It is possible that this feeling to be deeply buried, but he is there, awaiting to be revealed following an event or a conversation. Often, we learn lessons in unexpected ways.
How do we love ourselves? This is, without a doubt, the greatest challenge that we face. Few are those who have learned it during their childhood. In general, we are taught, from very early on, the idea that self-love is a bad thing, because it is confused with self-centeredness. This leads us to believe that it consists in the encounter being ideal, or someone to treat us the way we would like. But all these have nothing to do with love.
Most of us have never had her experience. As children, we learn that we will be "love" if we be polite, if we get good grades, if you smile at the mother, or if we wash our hands well before lunch. We jolly-deck to be loved, without realizing again that it is a love subject.
How can we love if we must meet so many conditions? We can start by feeding our spirit feeling compassion for ourselves.
You feed your spirit? What have you done for you to feel better in your skin? When you love yourself you fill up your existence with activity encouraging that delights the mind and the heart. It's not about what we are asked to do, but by what we do only for ourselves. It also means to integrate all the love that is around us.
Have a little compassion for yourself, take a break. Stop, for a moment, to say that you are stupid, that would never have to do this or that. When someone commits an error, you say, in general, not to worry, that it happens to everyone, that you don't have to make a problem out of it. However, when you do the same error, you have the feeling that you are under any criticism. We have, in general, tend to be more lenient towards others than towards ourselves. Strive so to be as tolerant with yourself as you are with others.
To love yourself means to absorb the love that lies in every moment around you, means to give away all the barriers. It is difficult to see the barriers that rise up around us, but they are indeed there, and they affect all relationships.
When we will be in front of God, He will put this question: "have You given or received love?" We learn to love ourselves by allowing others to love us and giving it back to them. God has given us countless opportunities to love and be loved. They are there, around us, and just wait to see.
Lessons about love can take any form and may refer to any kind of people. It doesn't matter what we are, what we do: we all can love and can be loved. It is enough to be present, to open our heart of love, and a back, determined not to refuse this gift of heaven.
Love is always present in all our experiences, good or bad, even in the tragedies that overwhelm us. She is the one that gives a deeper sense of the daily us, is the very nature of our. Whatever name we give him – love, God, soul, she is the living, tangible, for it exists in each of us.
Love is the experience of the divine for us, the character of the sacred. It is the wealth that is all around us. We got to get her!