"Don't you know that that thing has 14,000 teeth and some of it can kill you?"
The man dressed in an oversized t-shirt picked up what the two kids were apparently playing with and threw it deep into the shrub. He turned abruptly and revealed hair in dire need of a good comb and bloodshot eyes. He walked directly towards Akpan, a move that made Akpan instinctively cross to the other side of the road. But the man had already lost interest in the surrounding as he walked away.
Akpan approached the two distraught kids and asked, "What did that man just throw into the bushes?"
The two simultaneously replied, "A snail."
"Oh," came the unexpected reply from Akpan. He had expected something of greater value. The man was mad or like his great grandma liked to say, "Not well upstairs."
"Don't worry, it's the rainy season, you'll sure find another snail along the road. Just be careful and watch out for the crazy motorcyclist that ply this road," and with that word of encouragement Akpan continued on his way to the bank. This visit had been the third time that week. Each time the bankers told him the same story," we still do not know who withdrew your money. Please be patient as we investigate further."
For the last three weeks he woke up to a series of text messages on the phone. He wondered who could have sent him that many messages. When he opened the SMS his heart sank. Each one was a debit alert for a purchase of five thousand naira subscription to a book's club from an unknown website.
He quickly put a call to his account officer to quickly disable his credit card. That was done, but it just happened it was medicine after death, the harm was already done as the account had been cleared of all his life savings.
Today, the bank must tell him how that happened. He was grateful for the fully air-conditioned banking hall after walking the past twenty minutes to the bank. As usual, he saw a large crowd of people seated, all waiting to be attended to by the overwhelmed customer service officers. He sat, and for lack of anything better to do decided to browse the internet.
As he flicked his phone open and turned on the phone's mobile data, Akpan saw a flurry of messages pour into his instant messaging app, WhatsApp. He was about to mark all as read as he was not in the mood to entertain local gossip and unfounded news from the various groups he belonged to when he saw a message that intrigued him - it was about a snail. He saw a snail and 14,000 and had to read the text. True, the body of the forwarded article mentioned that snails do indeed have many teeth, sometimes up to 20,000 of them depending on the species. He Googled the information and was surprised that it was true. Well, what do I know! Even the mentally unstable these days know more things that the sane people.
Finally, after about forty-five minutes wait it was his turn to see the customer service officers. He recounted his ordeal.
"Oh yes, I do remember you, Mr Akpan. The bank just concluded the investigation." The customer service agent had this fixed smile on her face that made Akpan somewhat uneasy. People with such a smile can inform you that your whole family just died in a freak accident with the same facial expression.
"Oh, that was good. Does it mean I will get my money back?" Akpan leaned forward in eager anticipation.
"It depends on a lot of factors," she smoothly began.
What other factors? Akpan nearly screamed. Did she not say the investigation is complete? He checked himself and listened.
"The deduction from your account was traced to a foreign transaction you made in an e-commerce site."
"Did you just said that I made a transaction?" Akpan's voice grew shrill as he got angrier.
"Sorry Mr Akpan, the transaction was made with your card details. It is now difficult for the bank to trace who made this transaction. We would like to know if you have made any transaction with the card anywhere online?"
"No, I have never used the card for online payment." Akpan promptly replied.
"How about if you've sent anyone you trust, say a sibling, to withdraw cash from an ATM with your credit card?"
"No, I just requested for this credit card six weeks ago."
"Well, Mr Akpan there is nothing the bank can do at the moment. It appeared your credit card details were somehow compromised. Unfortunately, the place the money was spent cannot issue a refund. We can only say you guard your card details in the future to prevent such thefts as we have been inundated with cases such as these of late. We are truly sorry for your loss, sir." She concluded.
Akpan was devasted. He was sweating in the cold room. "I'm sorry for your loss?" Will that statement pay for his upcoming rent? His landlord, as was his usual practice before his rent collection is now all smiles. A smile, he is very sure will turn to a frown if he did not come up with the money. He racked his brain and wondered how the credit card could have been compromised and came up empty-handed.
Akpan dejectedly started the walk home. Halfway he met the mad man that seized the kid's snail and later threw it into the bush. The man stared at Akpan and smiled. It was a disconcerted moment for Akpan as he looked away.
The mad man shouted at him from across the road, "Hey, I remember you. I need some money; I am hungry."
Akpan, in spite of himself, shouted back, "I have no money. Leave me alone!"
"Not so fast, who goes around with money these days. At least buy me a shawarma with your card, they accept credit card there. See?" He pointed to fast food joint at a distance. At that moment, something clicked in Akpan's brain. He smiled, waved to the man and briskly walked away, a slight spring to his steps.
That evening, he walked up the stairs of a fast food joint.
A young man with an expensive looking iPhone smiled at him. That was odd, how could he afford such a costly phone on the salary of a sales person. He recognised him from a month ago. He stood behind the counter just like he was on that day. Without thinking, Akpan grabbed the boy's phone and started to flip through his pictures quickly. Before the boy could run around the counter to where Akpan stood, Akpan had hit gold. There staring in front of him was a picture of the front and back of his credit card.
Last month, Akpan tried to pay for the food he bought, and the cashier said he had no change. Akpan not wanting to be owed, opted to pay with his credit card. Now that he had thought of it, the young man at the till disappeared at the back room with his card for just a moment. He now believed that was when he took the picture.
He triumphantly raised the phone and showed the young man that was racing towards him. He froze in mid-stride. Fear was written all over him. Akpan had an evil smile on his face as he stood patiently watching the boy.
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