I met a girl sometimes last year and I felt extremely drawn to her, like our souls just connected. It was more of a spiritual connection than physical, I had to inform my best friend before taking any step further with her. And like a triangular connection, she told me she had been having dreams that one of us would meet a girl going through depression and suicide and we would help them out.
Now this girl I met, she is the liveliest minor I have ever met. She is full of life, playful, makes friends just about every where we go but she was neck deep in depression.
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Before I met her, she had attempted suicide countless times and all the times she promised herself not to do it again believing in her strength only to fall back again.
I realised something with her, that all her facade of playfulness, happy life were just in a bid to hide the weakness she is dealing with. To her friends she is this girl that has it all together but to me all I see is an overwhelmed little girl.
She is sixteen years old, in her first year in the university and her older siblings are all first class graduates, so for her anything short of that is failure.
I have had her call me around 12:45am in the morning saying "Aunty B, My..I...(sobs)...My Calculator is not working and I am having test tomorrow, I feel like a failure"...I had to do what I had to do.
She has called me around that same time that she was scared of sleeping in her room because she felt she might hurt herself.
Now my girl here is battling depression and suicidal thoughts.
The face she put up might prove otherwise but it is still a war for us...I don't want to lose her but I wish she would grow strong and realise that the best favour she could do for herself is to put a strength to the heart to match the face
Don't overestimate the Strength of a depressed person, they still need your help.
Now this is how I am helping my girl out of depression
(N.B- I am not a psychologist or a therapist of any sort, I am just a friend)
• I try to call her just about every day morning and night to assure her of a smooth day no matter the odds and to ask how the day went.
• I try as much as possible to take away all sharp objects from her room and make sure I keep the knife as far away as possible.
• I keep my phone on all the time and try as much as possible to pick her calls no matter the time she calls me.
• I organise sleep overs with her and selected number of her friends so we can chit-chat and all feel like a part of something.
• I get involved with every little detail of her life.
• And most importantly, I don't treat her like a weakling as I scold her when necessary and joke with her as much as possible.
• And I pray for her as well as pray with her.
Now for me, I also have a life but it won't matter anymore if I lose her..I know a little about depression. I was at its early stages some years back but thanks to some divinely orchestrated people I met I was able to grab my bags and leave the pool.
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I want us to get this straight, not everyone that looks happy that is actually happy. A lot is hidden behind the smile, a bulk is embedded behind that playful soul.
They slide back in their room and find peace in driving a knife through their guts.
I know we can't help everyone but we could help someone.
Stop being a surface person and start going deep...you never can tell the soul you could help through this mental turmoil.
Thank you!