Unfinished painting representing my worst year 2016
I know I will never finish or sell it...
hi guys, today is confessions day for me :P
I've told you before that my life has changed completely since I discovered steemit. before steemit I was painting all day at my easel, frustrated that in order to be successful as an artist I had to first be successful at the business side that comes with being an independent artist.
why frustrated?
I had various reasons to be frustrated first I have some psychological and emotional boundaries about money,
because I saw people change for the worst when their financial status has changed,
because people confuse values with numbers and I feel insulted when I have to put a price on my art,
because since I decided that my career would be a creative one, my parents have tried to encourage me to do something else and keep art as a hobby. I found this again insulting but mostly painful, dough I knew that they meant the best for me and just feared I will never be financially stable.
so I had two options:
To continue doing what made me happy but accumulate guilt, knowing that my parents will never see me succeed and knowing the massive expectations everyone had for me since I was a child.
Or to do something else, go insane and pretend in front of my loved ones that I am happy.
I tried both, I became a pro at pretending that I am happy, I watched myself degrading every day for long periods, every time I tried to stop doing art this has happened to me, and every time I was doing art I felt guilty ...
I was in this vicious circle and my worse nightmare was my life in both situations, I was cursed to remain mediocre no matter what I choose to do.
This being my worse nightmare,( remain mediocre) may sound pretentious, but is not, I showed outstanding potential from a very early age, until college I was the best in everything I put my mind into.(except sports:P)
I never want money, I don't know much about crypto, and my goal is not to have lots of money and I know this will never change.
I accidentally found steemit, before that I have heard about bitcoin and blockchain but there were foreign concepts to me.
So I signed in to steemit with no expectations, I just wanted to showcase my art, maybe someone will finally buy it, without me having to sell it to them :P (really bad at that, I under sell most of the time)
MY LIFE CHANGED SINCE STEEMIT!
After years of self pity and self hate, I started receiving encouraging feedback from the art community on steemit, I still was skeptic because I was so used in putting myself down, but this continued gradually until the response I started to get was unbelievably positive, there are comments that really make me cry.
I still don't know if the people that have helped me here realize what they gave me, or better said what they gave me back.
I remembered who I am and that is priceless (this word,priceless, I love, even if it contains price in it)
Any way my biggest goal at this point is to give back as much as I can, and to make up for my ugly years (10), to make myself worthy of my potential again, and to save others that may be in the situation I've been trapped by for so long.
Please!!! If you are an artist not doing art, trapped in a financially secure job, but unhappy, stop that!!!
Come to steemit, work at it like it's your job, doing your beautiful art and just shearing it with people and in a few months you will be fine.