When people ask me what my favorite marine organism is, and that comes up more often than you'd think due to my love affair with the ocean, I always tell them it's the nudibranch. Sometimes they've never even heard of it. Other times the word rings a bell but no image springs to mind.
"Really? Not dolphins? Not octopuses? Not jellyfish?" Of course, I've cheated somewhat. There isn't one or even a few varities of nudi. There's more than three thousand. Nor are the differences between species subtle. On the contrary there's a baffling, overwhelming diversity of nudi species, frequently with breathtaking color and form!
Look at this fuckin' guy. Holy shit. I mean that one earlier that looked like it was on fire was pretty baller but this guy is giving him a run for his money. I picture them battling each other like Super Saiyans. Looking like that, they would pretty much have to, right?
Then this one shows up, Final Fantasy boss dragon lookin motherfucker. How can a living thing from Earth look this way? It's all "Don't look at me bruh, I don't know how I can be real either". When I first saw a picture of this thing I felt certain it had to be CGI or something.
There's just no end to 'em, either. Three thousand species! Picking this as your favorite sea animal is like wishing on a genie lamp for infinite wishes. It just isn't fair, is it. Easily one of the most visually diverse and aesthetically captivating forms of life on planet Earth.
Tell me that's not a Pokemon. You can't. It is. "NUDIBRANCH!" it would cry. "NUDI! NUDI!" then fucking body slam Onyx I guess. I'm only 50% joking too. You know bulbasaur? The one with a plant growing on its back in a symbiotic relationship with its body? That exists irl. Look at this fucking nudibranch:
It's not just superficially leaf-like, it actually harvests chloroplasts, still alive, from plants that it eats and assimilates them into its body. The chloroplasts then convert solar energy into sugars and other nutrients for the benefit of the slug. To my knowledge it's the only known example of solar powered multicellular animal life.
Then there's this fuckin guy, the gay clown nudibranch. His special power is to bring laughter to children. "Wow, what else can nudibranchs do? I bet they can't fly." WRONG! Sort of. There are nudis which flap wing-shaped protuberances to lift themselves up off the seafloor and fly around like demented little sea birds. Look at this one. Look how fuckin kawaii it is. Tell it your secrets and let it heal your soul.
Who knew, right? Who knew there could be such a cute, elegant and etheral species of what is essentially a sea slug. Flippity flappin all the fuck around the ocean, probably having tea parties or granting baby wishes. It's really refreshing in an animal kingdom often full of horrible gross shit that there's at least one species that-
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