We experience these emotions every day, and they interfere with us
Fear and shame are manifested in different ways in life, for example:
- We are dissatisfied with ourselves and our body, we are ashamed of our appearance.
- We procrastinate and get distracted, and then we're ashamed of our inattention.
- We forget to play sports, read or eat healthy and are ashamed of it.
- We rarely call loved ones and ashamed again.
- We are afraid of the unknown and nervous when something goes wrong.
- We get excited when we speak to an audience. Because of this, we perform worse and are ashamed of ourselves.
- We are afraid to tell the truth or to start Frank conversations because we are afraid of consequences.
- We avoid difficult tasks because we are afraid of discomfort.
- We are nervous about the upcoming trip, meeting, party or project because we are afraid that something will go wrong.
Think about what your life would be like without these feelings. Imagine what kind of person you would be. What would you have done differently if you had not been stopped by fear? Perhaps you would be more at risk in the business, tried yourself in something new, do not put off for later complex, not so much worried about the future.
Without being ashamed of yourself, you would be more confident, it would be easier for you to talk to strangers. You would live your life in the present moment, not fixate on past actions. You would have been easier on your mistakes.
Fear doesn't let us do what we want. Shame causes dissatisfaction with themselves and their lives, prevents us be happy.
Life without fear and shame will be more calm and confident. Learn to let them go when they appear. Then they won't control you anymore.
How to get rid of them
Step 1
Notice the feelings that come when you're scared or ashamed. Don't rate them, just watch. Remind yourself that this is not a problem, but only the reaction of the body. Don't get hung up on her. You will notice that these emotions are not so terrible and there is no reason to hate them.
Step 2
Treat your feelings with curiosity. What are they? What provoked them? Maybe you're ashamed of yourself because you don't like something about yourself. Where did this discontent come from? For example, you think that you have to be perfect in everything or that you have to control your life completely.
Step 3
When you have identified the cause, reduce its impact on you. Think about whether there is a benefit of your perfectionism? Does it bring harm? Why did he appear in? What will you be without him and his shame? Imagine yourself free from shame or fear, content with yourself and calm. "Try on" is a condition like new clothes.
Step 4
Now check what it is like to live in this state. Do you feel more confident, happier? Are you satisfied? See what changes. How will you act when you are not constrained by shame and fear?
Naturally, this process takes time. You can't get out of here in no time. Repeat these steps when faced with fear or shame. Gradually you will release what prevents you to live a full life.