Hi Steemit friends, great to be back after a good break!
I think most people have Facebook and one of the features I love about it is the sharing of Memories! Here's one that I've written from some years ago popping up today. It's not exhaustive but I'm sure you'll get the gist of it. It's one of the things that I honestly struggle with because let's face it, even the friendliest person can't possibly connect well with every Tom, Dick and Harry all the time.
Taken from Danny Silk - Loving On Purpose Facebook page
Every now and then I am reminded by people around (whether by observasion or by experience) that one of the reasons relationships easily turn sour is if and when one or both parties turn their connection into an exchange; something that can be weighed on, and in the process weighing the relationship against it. It could be a favor, an invite/hangout, help, expectations, demands, etc.
It hurts to see how beautiful blooming relationships break at the sight of such things, all in the name of needs unmet. And the interesting and mind boggling thing is, the closer the relationship gets, the more it tends to happen. Sometimes, when we're not mindful our expectations toward others could even sound so matter of factly.
Unrealistic expectations are like calling a wrong number expecting for the person you're looking for to answer the phone.
Most of the time, they aren't communicated or being miscommunicated, and more often than not we think that by outward display of unhappiness, negative and distant body languages we could somewhat send signals to the other party in hopes of showing how displeased we are. Sadly speaking, the very people who do that to others always find themselves being treated the same way again and again, and they wonder why people are being mean and not understanding. In the end, both parties drift apart and shy away.
Connecting is a lifelong lesson, and nobody is immune to such behaviors. But I also believe that everything we do is a choice, to cut yourself off from the connection to protect yourself and in doing so shutting people off or staying connected and fighting for the true meaning of relationship is a conscious decision to make. Will there be pain? Will there be disappointment, doubts and fears? Yes. But when both parties work on it, you'll know that every step you take is worth the risk.
Of course, there is also the case of toxic relationships, but that would be a whole different book altogether.
Sometimes, you will come to realisation that some people just can't seem to be close to you, or vice versa, no matter how much you try. That doesn't necessarily mean you are the problem, nor does it mean that their heads are too high up, it only means that people have different interests and preferences in life. We may like certain types of people and find comfort in their presence so it is only natural that we are drawn to them. Everybody can be friends, but different people will have different access to your life's core.
Whether or not they are close to your core, it is still a choice to keep your connection on.
Truth be told, when it comes to the matters of the heart, it can get a little messy sometimes. And it's only because everyone has their own version of understanding and experience of how a healthy relationship and connection looks. So when we feel like we're at a loss, the best place to start is from the place of love. Let love be the greatest motivation, because even when all else fails, love never fails. Love gives grace, and grace simply means unmerited favor.
I've once heard a minister in the Christian circle sharing about love and healing that I personally believe rings true;
Sometimes when we pray for someone who is sick in their body they may or may not get healed on the spot, but in that encounter, may they leave knowing they are loved in their hearts.
Above all else, love.
Now, GO. ❤
This is the first post of my Heartstrong Series, hope it blesses you. If you'd like to know what it's all about, check out the post here. Do you have an area that you'd like to read and chat about when it comes to the matters of the heart? Comment below and I'll try to share something about it the next round 😊 Let's all learn and grow our heart muscles together! ❤💪
