It is very common that people tend to go after the things that they cannot get, that include the people they are interested in. In this article, we are going to address the women who try very hard to get the attention of a man who is certainly not showing any interest towards them. It is very evidently non-committal and comes off at standoffish. Women spend their time obsessing over how to get his attention and try to make scenarios where they will be in their line of sight.
Always texting him, roaming around in the area where you are most likely to find him, you are finding some way or the other to connect with this man despite the fact that he is not responding or reciprocating any interest.
It is needless to say, but we will say it ‘it is not a good idea to pursue such a man.’ He has given you all the reasons to back off but clearly; you do not understand the hints. It is not leading you anywhere, and even if you end up catching his attention or being with him in a relationship, it will be a horrible and unrequited one.
Women in their head take this as a challenge and do not want to go for the easy target. Humans, in general, attracted to people who pay no interest to them. This behavior is usually rooted out of disturbed or distressing attachment experiences in infancy and childhood.
They go for the people who do not seem available or interested in overcoming that challenge or feeling the familiarity that they felt in their childhood. It has not become a fantasy, and we sometimes do not understand why we keep going for the wrong people or behaving in a certain way repeatedly.
They want to compensate the loss they had faced in childhood – they think it will fix the deep-rooted problem but that rarely or does not ever happen. At the end of the day, these women end up reinforcing their pain and increasing their attachment issues. Along with all this comes insecurity and complexes that the person did not have before.
It is imperative for a person to understand what their problems are and be self-aware about why they behave the way they do. It saves them from more pain and leads them to make healthier choices regarding their life and well-being.
In many circumstances, something like this can be healthy but not when it crosses boundaries. When a person becomes extremely obsessive, dysfunctional and keeps making desperate efforts to connect with such individual- then good measures need to be taken.
There is a term that was coined a while back called ‘sextimacy’ – it is a combination of sex and intimacy. These two things are different from each other, and there is a fine line that can be drawn between these two things. This term was coined for people, mostly women who have sexual relations with a person with the intent of developing an emotional connection with them, or some emotional intimacy. And something like this is only done when an adult did not get the affection and attention that they required in their childhood.
And in the pursuit of fixing this or wanting that love, they end up expecting or aiming for something that is not entirely rational. It results in even more hurt and damage. Such people fall in love quickly in comparison to other people, and end up being more hopeless towards love. There are some red flags that we can point out and make it easier for people to learn and understand that – this is the point that you let go of these people.
If a person that you are interested in regularly and consistently keeps canceling plans or keeps giving rain checks that certainly means that he is not able to reciprocate in a certain way. It is most likely that for whatever reason, he is not developing the same amount of interest in you that you have for him. It is not healthy and most likely such people will not be able to reciprocate your emotional needs either. A person has to cancel plans to be somewhere more important, or something comes up unexpectedly, and it is something understandable. However, if you are spending a lot of your time waiting, this is food for thought
It is more important for a woman to see the behavior of the man more than his words. How he behaves says everything about him, for example, if he misbehaves with you, or is aggressive/passive aggressive or just simply not showing commitment – there is a problem. If you find someone always upsetting you or disrespecting you, you need to put your foot down. What is even worse is that he tries to justify his behavior for doing so. If you try to talk it out with him but instead of paying heed to what you are saying, he just disregards you – MASSIVE RED FLAG
If the person you are perusing is always telling you that he currently is not looking for something serious and wants to pass his time – he means it. If he does not put his efforts into the relationship and takes it casually, that’s another thing to look at. It is a clear sign that he is not in the same place in his life that you are in and you both want something different. And if you both do not want the same thing then you are wasting your time.
If a man is directly telling you things, that means he seriously means them. If a person keeps saying things that at the end of the day make you feel awful and hurt you, then you need to consider this equation again. If he does not understand how you feel or listening to you explains it to him, then you need to stop wasting your time. There is no point working on someone who does not want to work on himself. The whole point is to be with someone who wants to grow individually and together. A stagnant person will only stop your growth and damage you
You need to keep a check on patterns, as patterns exist for a reason. If it is a common thing that you are always trying to make plans with him and he is not available. Or you keep texting and calling him, but he does not do it as much then you are in an obsessive relationship which is not reciprocated properly. If this is the case, you need to pull yourself out of this equation immediately. A relationship is a two-way street and if you are the only one making the efforts and running the relationship than you are wasting all that energy on a lost cause.