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Too many times parents have ignored or neglected the needs of their children as they grow especially the need for attention, compliments, love, care and security. These children grow to trust outsiders more than their parents and in the long run, get almost separated emotionally from them.
If you have a daughter who is already a teenager, I can assure you that one man/guy out there is calling her beautiful.
Who ever forgets sweet 16?
We've been there and that's just the time she begins to look attractive.
Now, there is something about calling a woman beautiful. It remains in her heart.
That aside.
Recently, I did a survey and realized that most wayward young girls are indirectly led into their acts by their own parents.
" Chika, stay away from boys "
" Chika, who is that boy talking to you? "
" Chika, if you get pregnant, you are finished "
Chika, this, Chika that
Most African parents are known for this. They keep screaming at their girl children but this is where the problem starts from.
Let me quickly expose this.
There are men willing to take your daughter to the movies, buy her birthday gifts and shawarma, call her beautiful and even send her credit.
As a parent, when last did you do these for your daughter?
When last did you buy birthday gifts for her?
When last did you call her beautiful?
When last did you call her pet names?
When last did you hang out with her?
When last did you show her you love her?
It's really not about shouting all the time. When you do, she grows up feeling inferior and unloved. This makes her fall for just any outsider doing what you never did.
It is an entirely different case if you satisfy her needs and she is not contented.
It is a different thing if you can't afford luxury and she is after luxuries.
In this case, the girl needs counselling but most of these girls do not feel loved at home.
The best way to build a girl child into a decent woman is to draw her attention to her beauty and worth.
Praise her when she does great things.
You are probably too keen about her weaknesses that you forget she has strengths.
Surprise her on her birthdays so that when a guy from the blues does it for her, it won't become something to die for.
Teach her that having male friends is not wrong. Don't scream at her to stay away from men, it doesn't work that way. She will definitely meet them.
Instead, teach her how to set boundaries and let her know what it takes to become a woman of virtue.
Tell her about your life as a teenager.
Tell her about the guys who wooed you and how you handled the pressure.
This will definitely make her connect deeper with you.
Mind you, this girl has feelings. She may be falling in love with a guy at college so you need to share how you overcame your own feelings as a teenager.
Let her be able to open up to you.
The bitter truth is, the more you yell at her, the more she stays away from you.
The more she stays away from you, the more she gets closer to the men who do not yell at her.
The more she gets closer to the men who do not yell at her, the more she loses her sense of womanhood until she messes up.
In the long run, it is all your fault.