𝑭𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑭𝒐𝒄𝒖𝒔 𝑰𝒏 𝑨 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅

On my way out today, I got stuck in traffic. Everyone on the bus gave the driver alternatives, either to switch lane or take a one way because they were late to work or wherever they were headed.

One thing I admired about the driver was how he didn't allow the anxieties of the passengers distract him from what he was doing and then the prompt in this community struck my mind.

Lately, I'm like that driver who although concerned about the anxieties of others, yet I do not allow it stop me from achieving my goals or affect my daily life.

I've always been a giver and when I say a giver I'm not even talking about money. I give a lot of myself, time, energy and resources to ensure everyone around me are doing okay.

I realized the more I gave, the more people took from me and it was affecting me a lot.

It was a big deal for me to learn how to say "no" to people cause I felt, I could always fix their problems even when it wasn't convenient for me, but I learned the hard way.

When I got drained, no one ever filled into my cup. They all assumed my heart was an elastic, ready to accomodate them, their anxieties and mine at the same time. Like I didn't need a savior too.

I have learned to set healthy boundaries because I'm very big on protecting my mental health. Setting boundaries has helped me to not feel guilty for being unavailable sometimes when it's draining. After all self-care isn't selfishness.

There are times I even go offline or even set my phone on airplane mode so as to focus on my goals and myself. It has reduced the distraction and reminded me to pour into my cup like I do to the cup of others.

As a fashion designer, I need a sane mind to be very productive and once my mind is distracted then my whole day is ruined.

My experience of sewing has also taught me some tips on how to avoid the anxieties of others affecting my life.

I make use of what I call a "runway of resilience". I recall the day I heard a very bad news from a relative, it almost ruined my day but I had some clothes to deliver to some clients, I made use of that strategy.

Despite hearing such troubled news, I stayed focused on my goals and ensured my mind was fixed on the present. I was mindful, like a model who avoids being distracted by the cheers of the audience. It took a conscious effort to achieve this, because anytime my mind drifted, I had to call myself to order. When it got so bad that I couldn't concentrate, I took a break, read something positive, or listened to uplifting podcasts.

I've also learned to choose my stress wisely, like I choose the method to draft a pattern for a new outfit.
"After a day or two, will this still matter? Questions like this had helped me to choose what to dwell on and what not to dwell upon.

Lastly, I've created a safe space in my office where I can be very vulnerable. If there's any need to cry, or rant, I do so without hesitation. My mind is often freed from all the burdens weighing it down whenever I do so.

I've conditioned my mind to be reminded that every problem has an expiring date. No matter what anyone goes through, someday it will all come to end, especially anxieties I have little or no control over.

It has helped me to stay stable and focused on my life and goals amidst the anxieties.