One day I woke up from a nap on the couch & felt a little horn-ay & since I thought I was alone I decided to go at it, using my patented middle-finger technique.I finished with a huge moan...then suddenly I heard something, like a person clearing his throat. MY DAD WAS IN THE ROOM, sitting in his recliner—he had been there the entire time!I pretended I was sleeping and stayed there for at least an hour on the couch until my dad left the room. I was so utterly and totally mortified I have never even spoken of this until now. My dad, thankfully, never mentioned it either.