You see, maybe it is because of my cultural background - the mexican macho, which I am not, but I grew up in a country where it was still a thing back in the early 90´s - or perhaps my personality plays a role here, but my current mindset revolts around the idea of If I didn´t earn it, I don´t deserve it to the point where I get uncomfortable if I get something "for free".
This doesn´t mean I can´t accept gifts, I certainly can and I accept them gladly - who doesn´t like surprises and presents!? - but what I´m aiming to explain is that, if there is something to be earned and I get it, I have to feel like I did my best to do it, not that I won it because of my face or my family name.
But the general mindset I´ve noticed, at least among my extended social group, is that it is acceptable and even something to brag about, when your uncle gets you a top position in a big company, or when your well connected friend gives you a tip about an investment, or that situation where you come out on top just because you has inside information etc. I think you get my point, positive outcomes that you really don´t deserve but were given to you by someone else on the account of just being related to them or knowing them.
Don´t you think it takes away some of the merit? Getting things instead of earning them
Where is the honor in working a job you didn´t get because of your experience or abilities but because the boss owes your dad a favor? Where is the pride in passing an exam just because you knew the guy who has access to the answers? How can you look at the mirror and be happy knowing that you are only where you are because of someone else´s merits and not your own?
If you´ve ever climbed a mountain or swam accross a hard current river you know what I´m speaking about. That feeling of reaching the goal just by yourself, using your own body to do it, no outside help and no concesions. Either you achieve it or you fail, but it´s up completely up to you.
One of the most amazing feelings is studying for that incredibly complicated exam - coincidentally, an exam for that topic you´ve always had problems with - and walk out the classroom with a smile on our face. You did it, you conquered the subject, passed the exam and became a better version of yourself, by yourself. No one giving you the answers, no one to tell you it´s not your victory but your iphone´s notepad victory.
If you can´t get it by yourself, perhaps you don´t deserve it, so why should someone give it to you?
You read right. Not everyone deserves everything. Sorry to say it so bluntly but it´s the truth.
Give your best, make an effort, sweat tears and cry blood and, if you don´t achieve what you aim for, you have the honor, pride and satisfaction of pushing your limits to the edge; if you succeed, then you have every reason to feel that sensation of grandieur, you deserve what you get.
No one will be able to tell you you were given shit, you earned that shit, it is yours by right and you should be proud.
I recently went exploring South East Mexico and I was ale to attack some waterfalls, here is what you can expect for my next adventure post.
This images are the reason for my pride and honor. To be able to see this with my own eyes after walking or hiking are my achievements. No one is giving me these views, I am earning them. And it feels amazing.