A homeless man touched my heart
About two weeks ago I was moved by something that happened in front of me observing a homeless man, I started writing this post that evening after I was so touched by this man that I could not stop crying for a while because I feel for him. Lately I see many of these things that can get me teared up and that won't leave my thoughts for the next hours, because I feel sorry that I can't help all these people that need help. Budapest has many homeless people and you can't walk through one street without seeing some of them. It's sad to see, I personally still find it hard to let go when I see another person that isn't drunk or on drugs and just trying to survive. Because I find it important that people realize these people are still human beings, I had the urge to write another post about homelessness, and maybe because I included my personal experience in the post, someone will hopefully remember to smile when they pass by another homeless person from now on.
Homelessness is a topic that hits me hard from time to time
Not only because I feel for those on the streets, but also because I've been one of those people on the streets in Holland. After my boyfriend and me got homeless in Holland, the first years after we slowly climbed back on our feet I had a hard time writing about this. But then my boyfriend discovered Steemit, and I joined. It took me another six months before I started being active on Steemit, and I was confident enough to share our story. The first part received little response, but the follow-up post got hit by 
The stigma of homelessness is that it's the homeless person's own fault
The word on the streets here in Budapest is, that when a homeless person in Budapest is not showered it's his own fault, or choice as there are places where they can shower or sleep, maybe even eat or earn some money. But I do not believe it's that easy personally. People also told us, that in Holland it's not possible to not be accepted at a homeless shelter, especially not while being pregnant! While we've been there (twice!!!) and both times they told us we had a six month waiting list in front of us. People tend to believe that the system is helping those in need, while it actually means most of the times that the help you will actually get, is because you found it yourself. In our case I can say that I was the one that found solutions for us, not those so called helping agencies run by governments. So therefore I don't just believe that those people have the option to shower/eat/sleep somewhere. I do believe that there may be certain rules like: no drinking or using drugs, which sound perfectly legit to me. But let's not forget that not every man or woman you see lying on the street is a drunk or drug addict! Society likes to make you think this is the truth, and it actually makes me sick to my stomach that many people will judge you as you are, while they know absolutely nothing about you...
I wonder if they'd like being judged by strangers, only having information that they heard someone say, and may be or not be true? How will most people react when this is happening to them daily, when hundreds of strangers judge them without having first hand information about them?
There's an old homeless man I see quite often
I want to share with you what happened a few weeks ago, and made me cry afterwards because I feel for that man. One of the people that I see quite often grabbing in the garbage containers in our street is an old man. The man is probably round his 70s, that alone makes me feel for him. Because you don't want to think about the fact that you need to spend your last years of your life on the streets begging for money, searching food in garbage containers and then lying down on a hard bench while your back is probably aching a lot. I don't know his story, I would love to find out though.. maybe I will have an opportunity one day to let someone translate for me, because I would love to hear his story. Anyway most of the times when I see this man passing by, I either have no cash on me, or I am rushing somewhere etc.. Every single time that happens I feel bad when I come back home again, because I didn't help him at that moment. It actually makes me think about the man sometimes for hours after I come home, because of him searching through the garbage containers.. Those things get to me, when he looks at me I smile though, and I tell my two year old to smile too.
Because a smile can lighten up a person's day, while most people ignore them or pretend like they're not human anymore. That's really what happens most of the times, people look down on them, like they're not worthy anymore. That hurts me, I know how that feels, and when society gives up on you that hurts! Especially when you know you would be able to do so much in your life when someone would just give you a helping hand or opportunity.
I am still not sure why he needed this harder than food
Where most people on the streets have a lack of hygiene which can bring an awful smell from down the whole street (especially with higher temperatures) this man looked a bit dirty, with long nails but did not smell at all. He didn't smell of alcohol like most of them do, and he didn't smell like he had not been showering for a while. So I assume he is still trying to take care of himself where he can or has the opportunity. For me that's a big plus when I consider in helping someone, because I don't want to give money to a drug addict or an alcoholic, I'd rather help a person that will buy food or anything else he needs at that moment. Guess what this man was trying to buy at the 24 hour shop?
He was asking for the price of batteries, I can only tell what the body language and actions told me that was happening, as I understand not much of the Hungarian language.. So when I first saw that I wondered what he would need a battery for (it first looked like he wanted to buy one). Then the counting of the coins continued, and they were a bit annoyed behind the cashier desk that he needed one or maybe then two but he was counting the money and didn't seem to have enough. When I was about to tell the cashier that I would pay for them, the guy in front of him gave coins to the cashier, so that was covered. Then he seemed to need two, he gave her all the coins he had, and was still short, so that guy immediately asked her how much the old man was short on money and paid for it. This action of that young guy already made me proud and emotional. Proud because I still see the good in people willing to help an old man, and emotional for the same reason actually.
I realized I had cash on me this time
I usually don't have cash on me, but this time I realized I had a bill of 500 Hungarian Forints on me, which is a little less than 2 euro. So we paid what we needed to pay at the cashier desk and at that time I already mentioned a few times to my boyfriend if I shouldn't have given him that money. Once outside I saw him just passing our home, and I started running to catch up with him. I tapped him on the shoulder, and the man turned around. As I have no way to communicate in his language, the only thing I could do was smile and hand him the money that I already was holding in my hand. That moment that he turned around and looked at me, I will probably never forget. This man first looked surprised, and immediately this look was turned into gratitude. His eyes were sparkling, and this man was so thankful with this one bill that wasn't even worth 2 euro at the moment. I smiled back at him, and got back to my boyfriend and our daughter who were standing there with the groceries. I wish I could have done more for him, but I do know that he can buy some food for this little money. If those batteries were that important to him, that he prefered buying those instead of food, it must be for a good reason. The only thing we can think of is that he needed them to use a flashlight at night. The gratitude in this man's eyes, for just a little gesture I could do at that moment got me to tears. I didn't see this man anymore after that evening, and I must admit that I now wonder if he's ok. Strange how these things can work in your mind right? He's a stranger, and still I hope he's doing ok.
Please never look down on a homeless person when you see one
You must know that because of the things happening to us in Holland, I sort of had lost faith in all humanity for a few years, and maybe that's why I get more emotional when I experience these things first hand, who knows. I am not ashamed of it though, it means I have empathy and I will never look down on a person that has become homeless.
I know that it's not possible to help everyone you see that needs help, I have trouble accepting this myself so I totally understand these feelings. But not being able to help them, is not a reason to ignore them, and make them feel like they're air or non-existent, does it? I mean why would we want to give them that extra feeling of then being a failure, while half of society already does that for us? Why do the people that still have empathy for them need to lower themselves to that level? We don't! So please don't do that, have a look at the picture shown above this paragraph. Take a moment to read the message there.
Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up
I think this says it all, if you are willing to help but can't help, but also when you're just not willing to help for whatever reason you may have. I won't judge you for this either, it's your choice if you can or will do something for another human being in need. But please do not treat them like they're worth nothing anymore, they are still human beings, that once had lives that looked brighter than they do now. Please realize homelessness is something that can happen to anyone, even you! You may read this and think this will never ever happen to me, but you don't know who is going to make your life hard in the future, even when you're a good person! I don't consider us bad persons either, but still we got targeted by bad people and lost everything. It's not because of all those nasty looks we received combined with all the horrible words people used against us, that we are now back on our feet! This is only because we kept believing in each other, but can you imagine where we would be now if we didn't have each other all these years? And there was not one soul in the universe left that kept trying to make us feel good from time to time?
It doesn't always have to end on the streets
My boyfriend and me are the living proof of that! We both were spit out by society when we reached homelessness, and now we have managed to build up our lives again, and settled down in another country. We were considered outcasts too, most friends (with a few exceptions) didn't even answer our calls anymore, afraid we would ask them to help us or give us a place to stay that night. But we didn't, because we only seeked company for a few hours, to lighten up our day to have some nu positive energy to be able to continue the struggles we were facing. Let me confess that I'm writing this post with tears rolling down my cheeks because those things still hurt. And of course I am very aware of the fact that not every homeless person will be able to get back on their feet again, it's not true that every person can get back on their feet as long as they want it bad enough. You either need a helping hand or some good ideas that will give you goals to reach to slowly climb up, but if you're all on your own and constantly hungry or facing harsh weather conditions, you will probably not be able to reach your goals even though you're trying so hard.
But I hope that people can be more kind to homeless people in the future, one smile or a small gesture (doesn't even have to be about giving them something) can give a person on the streets the positive vibe for that day, that may cause that person to see options instead of obstacles. You can be part of that change in their way of thinking, without ever knowing this.
I wish I could help every homeless person in Budapest
Unfortunately I can't help everyone, the small thing that I can do, I'm already doing. From that moment this happened a few weeks ago, I do usually have some coins on me though, just in case I see that man, or another that I think needs it a lot. Those coins are just chance to us, and we can miss them. In wintertime I started collecting clothes that were too small or we didn't need anymore, especially a lot of warm socks. And every time I had some items, I left them on the containers so the homeless people will find them. A pair of dry socks can be the reason they don't freeze that night after a lot of rain and temperature below zero afterwards. I will never throw away socks again, I guess. A while ago I learned that the homeless collect empty (beer) cans because they get a few forints per can when they bring them somewhere. So from that moment on we have decided to put empty cans in a plastic bag so when we have enough, we can give it to a homeless person to help them a bit. I know it's not much, but why throw them in the garbage if it can help a homeless person a little bit collecting some money? One day I hope to be in the position to make a significant change in their lives, to help some of these people get back on their feet. It's not the time yet, but I hope in a few years I can actually make a difference by providing them help. Until then, I will keep doing what I'm doing now, offer them little bits of help when the opportunity is there..
I hope that my post may have inspired you to do a little bit for those in need too, and in the end maybe at least another homeless person will not be going to sleep hungry tonight.