I'm probably going to make a longer post about this in the future, but just really quickly wanted to say that... I'm decently proud of myself recently for not feeding into my reactionary anger so much as I used to.
I've unfortunately been treated very poorly by a lot of people these last couple months especially and at times I felt really depressed and hurt, but, I haven't resorted to trying to get even or insult anyone or block or unfriend anyone or anything like that in quite a while.
I'm not even necessarily saying it's wrong to get angry or use strong words or defend yourself or anything like that, I just feel like I got into a bad slump of doing it automatically without thinking about it as a reaction.
And that gave people power over me... Plus... When you start doing things unconsciously like that I think it can create some problems, each situation is different and we should I think generally try to be present and realize that instead of just automatically reacting the same way.
I feel so much more at peace, free and happy that I didn't feed into the negativity and lack of empathy in regard too how I feel I was treated. :)
So many people acted nice and then ignored me or ditched me or I was insulted and attacked me for having a different opinion or simply questioning what others believe..
They said and did some pretty mean and hurtful things, and... I just looked past it and kept moving towards my own goals and dreams and didn't let it bother me too much. <3
I feel like I've reached a new level of awareness, and I'm sure at some point someone will anger me so much I lose control and say mean things or something like that, but for now... I feel like people can say or do all kinds of nasty or uncaring things to me and I'm going to just shrug it off for the most part and not be too bothered by it.
I guess we'll see how well I do long term, but so far this is seriously such an awesome feeling to feel like people can treat me so badly and I'm not a slave to reacting angrily anymore and I can just sort of shake it off and not feed into it. People have less power over me now, and I like that. 👽
Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash