I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my Prince
I'd been online dating off and on for a little over a year. I met freaks and creeps, hook ups, and a stalker. One or two nice guys with no spark. It was starting to feel like a numbers game and I was losing faith that this would actually work for me. You can read about some of my experiences here and then again here
Browsing the app started to become a mindless activity for me. Kind of like scrolling Facebook. I wasn't really interested in what I was seeing and reading. But, you know, it just sort of becomes habit to kill the down time. Cheap entertainment.
I'd been in Vegas for about 3 months and was instantly happier. Moving back home was long over due. I spent the time moving into my new home, spending a lot of time with family, training my new puppy, working too many hours at my new job. Loving my new life, but something was definitely missing.
Or somebody....
But I was just...so...tired of all the online games and bullshit. Was it worth it? So I would browse profiles and talk myself out of writing anyone. I enjoyed the attention, and read my messages, but gave zero effort into any of it. I'd screenshot the super ridiculous stuff and text my friends for a laugh.
Flip side: I'm 43, done with the bar hook up scene, can't (won't) date anyone at work. I'm in a new town with a small circle. How exactly was I going to find my somebody if I didn't do it online?
So I continued to give browsing online profiles a half-assed effort. The pictures are fun, and it's total dating pool window shopping. But for me, it's all in the profile. You can tell a lot about somebody from their online dating profile. A large percentage I write off immediately simply for not being able to put together a coherent sentence.
(Side note, reading online profiles really makes you realize our education system is in serious trouble)
One night I'm laying in bed scrolling through the nonsense and a photo catches my attention. It's an artistic photo, but there is an underlying sense that maybe this person is making fun of themselves in a 'hey, look at me, I'm trying to be artsy' kind of way. And I dig that. My profile even says I like guys that have their shit together but don't take themselves too seriously. I mean, who wants to be with somebody that can't laugh at themselves? And this Frog is bald. I REALLY dig bald guys. For those reasons I decide he's worthy of a read, so I click and continue.
Eureka!!
This Frog is funny. Like crazy funny. My kind of funny. You know the type that's really smart yet sarcastic? Makes you read between the lines to get the punchline? That's Final Frog. His profile read very easily. His words flowed naturally and didn't feel like he was reaching or trying too hard. It was totally him on a page. And I was intrigued.
He loves books and coffee (ME TOO), he said he's rad (I AM TOO) and that he invented planking (ok, he had me there. I did not invent planking). The planking part was sarcasm; he posted a super cute photo of him as a kid in a plank position. And what I really loved about Final Frog is that he posted a link to his personal website. That was the most real and genuine thing I had ever seen in the crazy world of online dating.
I am SO writing this dude!
So I spent way too much time crafting my perfectly witty but don't-act-like-I'm-trying-too-hard private message. I said something like 'HEY! I'm rad too', some reference to the plank photo and that I also loves books and coffee. Lame, right? I take a deep breath (why do I like this guy so much already??) and hit send. And then refreshed the page like 300 times in the next 4 minutes waiting for reply. What the hell dude? It's been 6 minutes now! Write me back? Meanwhile I look at all his photos again, read the profile 300 or so more times, and then decide to call it a night.Alarm goes off the next morning and I reach for my phone.
HE WROTE ME BACK!
We banter back and forth for a bit in the morning. Which turned into afternoon. Then night. Then morning. We chatted on the app non-stop for a good day or two. I take the horse by the reigns and offer up my phone number. We text like teenagers for another several days. He's totally dreamy and I MUST meet him. I had one-of-those-days at work one Tuesday, and mentioned I needed a drink. Yes, ladies and gents, he took the bait.
Six Months Ago Today, I Had My Last Online Date
I get to the bar and he's there waiting for me. It's a Tuesday, so the place is pretty empty. He hears the door open, so he turns towards me. I STILL remember that smile. He seemed genuinely excited to see me. And dear lord he is tall. We grab some drinks and head outside. It's July in Vegas afterall. We were at a bar that's part of a cool little shopping center with lots of walking and a big fountain. We're small talking and laughing a bit. Then out of nowhere we notice the people in the fountain below us. The guy is super drunk and keeps falling in the fountain. Final Frog was smart enough to capture it on video. The dude falling in the fountain is funny, but what I love the most about this video is that we've captured our first date forever.
Our drinks are done, and he says 'I kind of want another one'. YES, ME TOO!! Please let this night not come to an end yet! So we have another drink. Sometime during drink #2 our legs touch (we're sitting side by side looking out into the pavilion) and I feel that touch through my entire body. Electric. Meanwhile they are putting up chairs and closing the place for the night. We linger way too long but pretty soon it's just awkward. They're definitely ready to close the place for the night. So he walks me to my car and we share our first kiss.
I saw him again the next morning at Starbucks. It turns out we live only 3 min away from each other and we go to the same Starbucks each day at mostly the same time. I pulled into the parking lot and when I realized he was there the butterflies flurried like crazy. It was a quick exchange as I picked up my coffee and scurried off to work. I text him a few minutes later that I had fun and that we should probably hang out again. His reply:
We should DEFINITELY hang out again
So we did. And again the day after that. And the day after that. Until before I knew it within two weeks of meeting we'd seen each other all but maybe one day. Pretty early on I ask him if he's seeing anyone else. Is this just a hook up or what's going on here? He says he wasn't looking for anything serious "but then I met you, so...". I'll never forget those words. So we decide we'll 'see-where-it-goess'
Another few weeks go by and we see each other nearly every day and talk non-stop. Even today, six months later, I never get tired of our chit chat. Only about 6-8 weeks into dating we took a trip to San Diego together. I thought it was too soon, but also didn't care. Four days together and we got along famously. A month after that he's brave enough to come to a Halloween party with my ENTIRE family. He did great. They loved him. That was the first night I said the word 'boyfriend'. It wasn't too far after that when I just couldn't hold it in any longer.
I Love You
It happened fast, but it happened in a real way. Far more real than I ever imagined would happen on a crazy online dating app. It's been insanely easy. Neither of us really has to try.
It just is
He makes me laugh. He makes me feel adored and beautiful. He's supportive and helpful and sexy. He teaches me about things I know nothing about. He's crazy smart yet down-to-earth. I miss him when he's not here and I feel my most at peace when he is here. He's simply the best, and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us.