I'll comment the same as on the chat. It's good to use at least one image, maybe in the start of the post or in the end, at least. It will make the post have a preview image and as far as I know, it might attract people to read it.

Secondly, use more tags. Up to 5 tags, but use only tags which fit the post. Like "Writing" or "Fiction" could work on this post (you can still edit all but the first tag) but never use tags which do not describe your post in any way (like in this case, don't use "Science" or "NSFW")