Bullied is defined by use of superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something. (Source : Google)
I am 31 years old now and have 9 years of work experience in IT industry.
I myself was bullied multiple times in school and high school/university for many minor/major reasons. I was never a topper in any stream or any particular subject. However my efforts to excel in one did not fully gratify my results. This became the source for people around me to create a fun topic. I was never a good singer bt that does not stop me from humming latest tunes. The absence of rythm in my voice gave further chance to ones who never lost an oppurtunity to detect this. I was never a good batsman and each miss to hit a sixer became a chance for dominant ones to remind me of my disability.I was never a good boyfriend and my lack of composure definitely disappointed the person on the other end.
So practically I was not gifted to pick things up in giffy and apply my presence of mind to tackle the situation. But many like me could not whereas few unlike me could. Hence the differnce of my disability is small with respect to those many who could not and big with respect to those who could.
Over the years as I grew up I realized this deficit is relative and the extent of negativity caused due to bullying is directly proportional to how big this relative difference is. As this is a relative difference, it is entirely upon myself to set the benchmark on upper end and work to gradually increase the lower limit. So to increase the lower limit I needed to strenthen my emotional intelligence.
People higher on the emotional side tend to lack this intelligence and become easy prey to bullying. This in turn creates a crack in healthy communication activities which in turn reduces the sense of responsibility in maintaining the relationship.
Emotional Intelligence is defined by the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. (Source : Google)
I admit I could never control my anger or emotional outburst during school/high school days which rather caused a feel of guilt later on to loose the relationship. However I never showed good discernment on friends or family and in turn never really ajudged the difference of positivity and negativity. This made me treat eveyone equally which also had a a disadvantge of letting others take me for granted.
Lack of Emotional Intelligence in me made me incorrectly segregate people's feelings towards me and label them. This drastically redced the strenth of communication with my surroundings.
So if getting bullied is a force of action according to Newton's Law, my Emotional Intelligence lacked enough force of reaction to balance it out. The former was external and uncontrollable whereas the later is internal and could have been cultivated with great deal and prospect. Mastering the former could have made me morally guilty whereas mastering the later could bring more inner strength and peace. Knowing the former could only restrict me to Blame game whereas the later could enhance judgement.
The early Emotional Intelligence theory was originally developed during the 1970s and 80s by the work and writings of psychologists Howard Gardner (Harvard), Peter Salovey (Yale) and John 'Jack' Mayer (New Hampshire).In 1989 Stanley Greenspan put forward a model to describe EI, followed by Peter Salovey and John Mayer published in 1990.
According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize emotional intelligence, there are five key elements to it:
Self-awareness.Self-regulation.Motivation.Empathy.Social skills.
Harard study has shown that higher Self awareness leads to better decision quality, conflict management and co-ordination. Similar studies show that higher the level of other four elements the better would be a communicator.
The link below provides essentials to improve Emotional Intelligence:-
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201410/how-increase-your-emotional-intelligence-6-essentials
I personally believe a healthy Family discipline, regular exercise and fun activities and inculcating hobbies have been potent methods to comprehend suggestions mentioned in the link above.
I also suggest the link below to gain more awareness on my say:-
http://blog.teleosleaders.com/2012/08/14/is-emotional-intelligence-training-the-answer-for-bullies-and-the-bullied/