So this is me, Teresa. 40 years old and no clue what I'm doing with my life. If I had a live narrator I am quiet sure at times she would be speaking in "face palm" if possible. Just like most anyone else on the plant my life has had ups and downs. The most recent of this was overcoming cervical cancer and the many things that go along with it. I've been cancer free for a year on October 31, 2017 and looking back, oddly enough, the blood loss and multiple transfusions, sickening chemo, brachytherepy (internal radiation) and external radiation wasn't the hardest part (though yes it was extremely hard). You sort of just go into survival mode, which if I may say comes in extremely handy if you want to kick cancer's ass and live.
No the hardest part is overcoming the mental beat down of it all. Cancer has this way of latching onto your every thought of everyday and when you're sick and exhausted from the poison that's trying to save you, you kind of just do nothing all day, and what that does is give your mind time to fester in the thought of "what if". So now enter depression, and I mean I'm sure it's a common thing that occurs after fighting such an evil disease but just like cancer the depression just crept up on me. Can you imagine fighting harder than hell to live and then being so mentally consumed with "what if's" that you just don't care if you live or die? Irony at it's ugliest and something had to give fast. I wasn't at the point that I would actively and consciously take my own life but let's be real here, if I was to the point that I didn't care if I got hit by a bus then how much longer would it take before I shoved a hand full of sleeping pills down my throat? Then of all the cliché things, I came across an inspirational quote on Facebook. It said "You cannot heal in the same environment you got sick". Light switch, face palm, DOH! So 40 years old, 2 sons and 2 dogs later, I moved in with my parents.
Now I am ready to get my own place again. It's hard to do witchy things with no privacy and understanding. Did I mention I was a witch? It's another thing that has pulled me through all of this, but I'll save that for another time.
