I upvoted, but not, I am sad to say, because I enjoyed the story. I did not.

First of all: why the tag 'life' for something you claim is fictional, a part of your unpublished novel - or did you mean the novel is biographical, like a diary?

Second - god, you give this to any publisher and they are likely to send it back without reading it.

Even if English is not your native language, the errors would be just as real in any other language.

She looked at me as if I had placed a fresh shit in her hands.
-“You're a smart one you are.”

She too took a glance at the dancers.
-“What's his story? That one there.”

She motioned her chubby arm in Adam's direction and pointed with a pudgy finger.
-“He's playing hard to get”

Was the response I gave her.

...

She looked at me as if I had placed fresh shit in her hands. “You're a smart one you are.”

She too took a glance at the dancers. “What's his story? That one there.”

She motioned her chubby arm in Adam's direction and pointed with a pudgy finger.

“He's playing hard to get,” was the response I gave her.

I think you can work out the rest.....