Ladies of Hive Community #100 Contest
Do you know how to be an effective advocate for your beloved one or friend when they're dealing with a mental health issue?**
This challenge has brought home something close to my heart and have personal experience of.
This is such an important subject that people are often scared to talk about.
Mental Health is something that is not easily detected in a person, or even spoken about.
Sadly, it has a bit of a negative stigma around it, often leaving people to suffer their pain in silence.
Source of Image: Joshua Fuller - Unsplash
Growing up as a child, my father being an alcoholic and my mother suffered from depression and anxiety taking prescription drugs prescribed by the local doctor to suppress her symptoms and never getting to the root of the cause, leaving her most days in a world of her own, with the result my sister, brother and I, were left to our own demise virtually; although we always had food on the table and clothes on our backs, there was a lack of communication and physical contact between parent and child, even amongst the siblings, we would disappear into our bedrooms to escape communicating with each other, causing emotional and anxiety disorders leading to numerous problems in our lives.
I can only speak for myself as a child growing up in such a toxic environment, which I'll share with you.
Source of Image: Vitolda Klein - Unsplash
I always felt unloved and unworthy as a child, which resulted me getting into trouble at school or with friends. My parents were to engrossed in their own problems to pay any attention to how it was actually affecting us.
Source of Image: Priscilla du Preez - Unsplash
As a teenager I would act all happy go lucky amongst my friends and be the life of the party, they had no idea what was going on in my head, let alone my life at home. I'm sure I developed a split personality, I was a totally different person amongst my friends to the person I was at home.
I would make every excuse under the sun when any of my friends wanted to come home with me. I was always afraid of what condition my father would be in. He wasn't a bad person at all, he loved us in his strange way I guess. Just when he drank, he turned into a monster of note.
He would accuse my mother of all sorts of dreadful things, I use to get quite upset with her for not retaliating and fighting back. She would just sit in a heap and be quiet.
I left school in grade 10 and went to work as a office clerk for a departmental store in town.
There I met the Personal Officer, Phillis Munro, Phillis was around my mothers age back then, she was the most kindest person I've ever met, we took to each other instantly, it wasn't long before she took me under her wing.
The work place became my solace and Phillis my guardian Angel. I think she knew where I was coming from, but never tried to push me into speaking about my problems, I just knew I could trust her with my life and would share my inner most fears with her. She taught me to hug, something I found very difficult to do, and to love myself.
She would always tell me to start loving myself, to believe in myself, if I don't do that, I'll never have a real relationship with anyone. She was my encourager who taught me a lot about myself especially.
When I met my husband and we got married and started a family, I found it difficult to relate to my children, I loved them dearly and wanted to protect them like a mother should, I just didn't know how too.
I can't remember my mother ever putting her arms around me and telling me that she loved me, my husband was different, he communicated with them and hugged them, he taught me to love myself and how to give a huge bear hug Lol! He grew my confidence in myself as a mother and about love.
With help from above and positive people around me, I began the journey of loving myself and others around me.
Today, I can freely put my arms around my girls and give them the biggest hug a mother can give, and tell them how much I love them.
I don't hold any grudges towards my parents, I believe they were trapped in their own demises and didn't know how to deal with their mental illnesses, it just wasn't appropriate to talk about it, so unfortunately, they suffered in silence.
Today I have been set free from all those demons from the past, I've learnt to cope, and most of all "Love myself I surround myself with positive people, and keep busy with creativity, painting is a excellent therapy for anxiety and depression.
I love who I am and very happy in my own skin today.
I shudder to think what would've happened to me if I didn't have people like Phillis and my positive friends in my life.
I thank God for them, I could never have done it alone. I thought I could, but I just got deeper into the darkness of depression.
Source of Image: Jay Pee-Pena - Unsplash
All I can say to you, please find a friend you can trust and talk to them, just talk...emotional pain isn't something that should be hidden deep inside of one's being and never spoken about, it has to be brought out into the open to be healed.
So...Moms love your children, tell them how much you love them and how beautiful and precious they are. They will continue your love through loving their children and create a society of loved individuals, making this crazy world a better place to live, without any hate and prejudice.
Talk to someone....I'm listening!
Remember, you are unique and very special, you are loved and were put here on mother earth for a purpose.
Thank you Ladies of Hive for giving me this opportunity to share this important subject with you. I must say, it brought up some very heart wrenching memories of my youth, thank you for motivating me to write it.
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