I am broke.
I have €3.62 op my bank account.
And you know what?
I don't really mind.
And don't get me wrong.
It's not that I particularly like having NO money.
It's just that I can't really be upset about it anymore.
Because it's been like this for this whole year.
These cycles of up and down.
Of suddenly having a ton of cash on my bank account, to having to pay a ton of unexpected bills and going back to scraping by.
I've made peace with it.
Plus it makes me become very aware of how I spend my money.
Do I REALLY need to buy that piece of delicious mouth-watering carrot cake?
Do I REALLY need that beautifully smelling yet quite expensive shampoo AND conditioner?
Do I REALLY need to go to my fave coffee place and drink a delicious cup of Ethiopian filter coffee?
The answer is always no.
These are luxury items yet somehow in our crazy materialistic stuff-filled society, they have somehow become a necessity, an integral part to our existence to actually really have a life.
Gosh, do we we even realize how fucking lucky we are that we have that luxury to decide what we want to buy with our money?
We forget. And we forget often.
Spoiled by these materialistic tendencies.
But that all changes when you are low on money.
You can either move into the fear-space that somehow society wants you to be in.
OR you move into love. And then the attitude of gratitude kicks in.
You realize that life is not about money. It's about WAY more than that.
This piece of paper, numbers in our bank account are just a superficial layer of our multi-layered life.
And you deeply understand how blessed we are to have a roof over our heads, to be able to eat and to not have to fight for your life everyday.
How amazingly lucky I am to have friends around me that say 'Dudette, you that low on money? Here have some of mine!'
(Seriously how effing crazily lucky am I?)
Plus it makes me get creative.
I deeply see that I want to help others who are in need.
I've had an idea of starting a fund to help young people who are low on funds and do not have a financial back-up plan. This has been brewing in my mind for a long while and I somehow feel that Steemit is going to be an integral part of that. (If you feel called to be part of this, let me know!)
And I think of ways how I can get some extra money or save money.
It's in the little things like cooking instead of taking out, and walking instead of taking public transportation.
It also makes me deeply realize how this system that we live in of 9-5, pay your rent or mortgage, go on holiday 3 times a year is based on a whole monetary system which to me is based off of the fact that essentially we are societal slaves.
Living in an environment that wants to keep me small, who wants me to be the same as everyone else.
And I say fuck that.
I refuse to be kept small.
I refuse to bow down to this societal slavery.
I refuse to be a sheep infested with fear.
I want to thrive.
I want to be free.
So I will not let the fear creep into my bones just because my bank account says I have very little money to my name.
Let's look at what I do all have.
Take a peek into my love account and you'll see that I am worth millions because I love SO many people who walk this Earth and receive a shit ton of love everyday.
Have a look at my levels of gratitude and see that I am wealthy as fuck because I deeply grateful to be alive and to experience life.
Look at my basic necessities of my life and see that I am completely satisfied with a roof over my head, a healthy body, enough food to sustain me and free water from the tap.
Damn, I am a fucking millionaire really.
Regardless of what my damn bank account says.
Here's to feeling free within myself no matter what!
All images found on www.unsplash.com
BIG love,
Ashley
