It seems like whenever things don't work out for us, the people we're close with often try to make us look at the bright side of things and make us find good in bad situations, even if there may not be any in some cases.
We've often been told the same by our parents how finding good in bad situations gives you hope and makes the problem easier to deal with. Though it might be true at times, but in our pursuit to avoid being hurt, we may have over-steered.
The phrase "Look on the bright side" is so cliche at this point that it almost makes me mad now when people say it to me without actually acknowledging the situation that I am in.
Listen First, Suggest Later
How often we use it isn't the real problem here, but the way that we use it. Even if it's with good intentions and desire to help, we are rather too quick to advise people on what they should do or think, instead of letting them speak their mind and grieve first.
The key to helping people begins with being a good listener. No matter how good your advise is, if you cannot lend your ear to listen to other people's problems, you will not be able to show them "the brighter side," regardless of the fact that you are reasonable or not.
Being positive and optimistic sure is a good thing, a necessary quality in fact, but so is being realistic and mindful. The pressure to find good in bad situations, can make our grief feel illogical, which makes us feel even more horrible.
The Positivity Pressure
The reason why we are so obsessed with the idea of being happy is because years of social media influence has made us believe that happiness is a goal and that we must want to feel good at all times, while trying our best to avoid the negative emotions.
What we're failing to realize is that negative feelings like sorrow and regret are just as important as the positive feelings like joy and fulfillment. The more pressured you are to feel happy, the more likely you are to end up feeling miserable.
I explained this in detail in one of my older articles too on how being forced to be happy, actually makes us even more sad because this belief that one should always be happy, makes our mind think that something must be seriously wrong when we are sad, which harms our emotional well-being.
Looking on the bright side is most definitely important and recommended when you are trying to help someone and give them reassurance, but it's equally as important to realize their grief and let them hurt in peace first.
This way, you give them enough freedom to let out their pain and make them feel safe with you, which you can use to further understand their mental state better and help them in a more effective way.
Related articles:
- Why Do We Listen To Sad Music When We Are Sad?
- How Craving For Happiness Can Actually Make You Feel Sad
- Why Being Embarrassed Of Your Past Is A Sign Of Self-Growth
- How The Hunger For Perfection Ruins The Quality Of Life
Continue reading:
- Thoughts On The Future Of Modern Education - What 'The Ideal Classroom' Should Look Like
- How To Get People To Truly Listen To You
- The Role Of Money In Long-Term Happiness
- Real Talk #3 - The Art of Asking for Help
- Should You Silence Your Inner Critic? - How To Take Decisions When You Are Unsure Of Yourself
