I am someone who is always trying to get the best of everything. At times it feels like I'm not doing enough of one thing and then I start doing it, then it feels like I should also be doing something else, then I add that, and then another thing, and another thing, and then it becomes a mess. It gets really exhausting but recently I've been trying to manage that the best way possible, drawing up plans for the day and making sure I achieve them. I am also doing my best not to start too many things I won't be able to be serious with.
This week's prompt made me dig deep, because I feel like there are a lot of things I am not spending time doing normally, but then I had to weed through and think
"How many of these are really important for my personal growth?"
Not as much as I thought. The one that really hit me though was the fact that I couldn't remember the last time I read a book.
Ofcourse, I mean non academic books, Academic books and I have been in a bittersweet relationship recently.
I used to like reading books in the past, I loved majorly fictional pieces but I also read some self help books from time to time. It was fun and a great way to pass time. Though I wasn't the bookworm I was more or less the casual reader, and I'm guessing this is why I've slowly lost the habit of reading.
I used to be a quick reader, thoroughly blazing through 100's of pages in hours and enjoying the thrill of every page. It was a different kind of dopamine rush when you get really far in a very satisfying book.
I owe some of my writing ability to books, especially fiction writing. I didn't really practice too much before I started writing fiction. I just found myself writing whatever came to my head in my small notebook then and my classmates seemed to enjoy it. I remember being hounded by some of my classmates to continue writing the story, and oftentimes I'll tell them I don't want to rush and spoil the story. They didn't care, they believed as long as I write It it'd be good (ah, good times)
Nowadays I find it hard to write fiction. I still do it once In a while, but writing it is just not as smooth as it used to be. I still have a couple fiction ideas just sitting in my drafts cause my brain believes it'll be too much work writing a good fictional story.
As time has passed I have stopped opening books. It started off slowly at first. I started spending more time on my device and less time on books, then the activities in my life started increasing, and it got less and less till it has almost faded away.
I think another thing that has made me spend less time reading books is the fact that I no longer come in contact with a lot of hardcover books. Before I came across paperbacks very often, and I borrow from friends to read. But now the world has gone digital and so have books.
I remember a while back when I tried getting back in, I downloaded a couple ebooks on my device and till today I haven't been able to go anywhere in any one. I find my eyes hurt when reading for prolonged sessions on my device. And I prefer prolonged reading sessions rather than short bursts, so it was a bit hard to adapt. I didn't even realize when I stopped.
I really need to get back to reading books. There's a lot to be learned from them and as such I'll try to get back in. I'm on holiday right now, so this is the perfect time to go again, wish me luck 🤞🏾.
~THANKS FOR READING~
This is my entry to the hivenaija weekly prompt