Hey Abercrombie! How are things? Great to hear.
Remember when you didn't want fat people wearing your clothes or representing your brand?
Remember when I tried your clothes on after high school and you didn't make my size?
Well, things have changed my friend. I've put on a couple extra lbs since becoming a father and have done my best to get the highly sought after dad bod. Please take a moment and breathe in the sight of me posted up against the Abercrombie Park sign and think about what you are missing. All of this man could have been yours but you decided to pass on the extra cushion for the button pushin'. Sleep well Abercrombie as there is plenty more where this came from friend.