Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
Irate Pirates
“Pieces of Eight” are not much of a treasure,
Gold bullion provide far greater measure.
And it sounds as though it’s not the best
To be standing around a “Dead Man’s Chest”
Pirate life seems to be all about wealth
(And, not to be caught, requires some stealth)
Says one, “They might wish to stretch my neck
But I’ll have gold so what the heck!”
Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum,
Sounds more than just a little dumb!
“Tipsy” is not where pirates err,
“Roaring Drunk” is what they do prefer!
Now I’ll be ever so frank,
I’d prefer not to walk the plank.
And cutlasses seem a mite dangerous
With pirates irate, and making a fuss.
So whether or not it makes you bolder
To have a parrot on your shoulder?
An eye patch is not at all grand,
Nor a hook where used to be your hand.
Some pirates, indeed, had a long peg leg.
A good excuse to sit by a rum keg.
Long John Silver, let us not forget,
Used his crutch when an opponent he met.
He’d throw it like a long javelin,
His victim soon down like a bowling pin
But after that he’d have to hop
Which brought his hostilities to a stop.
Yo, ho, ho and the wind blows free
Oh for the life on the rolling sea!
A pirate’s life may have been free,
Certainly it wouldn’t have been for me.
Captain Teach was an historic pirate.
Certainly known to be angry and irate
Known to call, “Where are my buccaneers?”
“If they're late I’ll have to box their ears!”
So was there something to learn from Captain Teach?
Something significant, not beyond reach.
They said, “Although a pirate he may be”
“He’s not a son of the sea”
“But more a son of a beach!”
So that’s what we learn from Captain Teach.