Joe Marvin was the Keeper of the Eddystone light,
When he spied a mermaid one fine night.
He’d had a few snorts of his famous home brew,
And he was feeling in a bit of a stew.
He ran down the stairs at a great pace,
Hoping to see the mermaids face.
When he barrelled out of the lighthouse door,
He failed to see the mermaid anymore.
He walked up and down the rocky shore
And he began to think this was a bit of a bore.
Then, from afar, a voice shouted, “Ahoy!”
And there was the mermaid sitting on a buoy.
He waved to her more than once or twice,
She seemed to wave back, which was very nice.
The sea was rough and there was a slight fog,
Marvin looked for the buoy, and stared agog.

Now there seemed no sign of the fair mermaid,
Though the buoy, empty of her, was clearly displayed.
He began to think that his strong home brew,
Had caused him to imagine a thing or two!
He returned now to the lighthouse, just as he ought,
Thinking he may as well have another snort.
In fact he had more than two or three,
When he began to stare again at the sea.

He thought he saw a ship chugging up the coast,
So he concluded he should stay at his post
For the day had turned to a very dark night,
And the beaming from the lighthouse was the only respite,
For ships at sea, from dangers of the cliff,
And onshore gales and winds quite stiff,
Which had wrecked many vessels in the days of yore,
After all, that’s precisely what the lighthouse was for!

Marvin decided on another snort or three,
And thought he would go and stand by the sea.
He now believed he saw not one mermaid, but two!
Or was it just the snorts of his strong home brew?
He decided to call someone on the phone,
To discuss these imaginings to which he was prone.
But in the wild weather the phone line was down,
So he had another snort, the silly clown.
Yo, ho, ho and the wind blows free,
Oh for a life by the stormy sea.

About this time Marvin was feeling tired,
And he was missing the mermaids he so admired.
“I’ll have a snooze, that’s just what I’ll do”,
“No sense getting myself into a stew”.
He lay down on his bunk to rest,
But found that the lighthouse’s light was a pest.
“I only want a bit of a snooze”,
Thought he, his brain did confuse.
“I’m sure that it will be perfectly all right”,
“To turn right off, the lighthouse light!”
“I’m sure that any ships at sea”,
“Be they Merchant or Royal Navy”.
“Must know this coast well by now”,
“To avoid cliffs and rocks they must know how!”
And so he flicked the big red switch,
And half a dozen ships at sea said, “Son of a Bitch”.

In the darkness Marvin was blissfully asleep,
Forgetful of the fact he had a light house to keep.
Later, from his sleep he was rudely awoken,
By a ship’s Captain who stood there soakin’.
“What the heck do you think you’re doing?”
He was so angry he was almost spewing!
“You turned off the light, so that you could sleep”.
“You must be insane, you stupid creep!”
Marvin woke up feeling some what woozy
Feeling that the Captain was a bit too choosey.
If the Captain’s ship hit the cliff,
Why, with Marvin, was he in a miff?

Daylight came and soon Marvin saw,
Many ships now stuck on the rocky shore,
He took a surreptitious glance at the rocking buoy,
But saw no sign of the mermaid to give him joy.
The Coast Guard were calling him to find out,
Just what had caused this shipping rout.
Marvin indicated he was not too sure,
But it might have been a mermaid that did lure,
All these ships to be thus wrecked,
Or, perhaps their compasses needed to be checked.
Now, Marvin is no longer keeper of the Eddystone light,
He was sacked and rapidly kicked out of sight.
No more to have a snort or two,
Or view a mermaid as he used to.
Yo, ho, ho, and the wind blows free,
Oh for a life by the stormy sea.