There was a farmer who was more than just big,
He was obese, in fact a fat pig.
Now, on real pigs, we don’t wish to cast aspersions,
As to the piggy character so subject to diversions.
Pigs are known to be intelligent through and through
And, if not incarcerated by humans, very clean too.
If one chanced to see a piggy in a mud wallow,
That it would be to get cool, would surely follow.
Now back to the pig farmer, whose name was McSlob,
He made much money, more than a “bob”,
Selling poor piggies, for the chop,
So that they could be sold in the butcher’s shop.
They sold them for bacon, that’s not very nice,
They sold them as pork, slice by slice,
As if that’s not enough they sold sausages in strings,
And they even sold their chitterlings!

Now there was one piggy, smarter than the rest,
Who’d identified McSlob as more than a pest,
He saw him coming down to the sty one day,
A bucket of pig swill, yes pigswill if you may!
Piggies are entitled to better rations than that!
Piggy observed McSlob from boots to hat,
Whilst these items were not very clean,
Piggy had his eyes on what was in between,
Blubber and fat, muscle and gristle,
It would go down a treat, clean as a whistle!
So as McSlob tipped the pig swill into a trough,
Piggy gave a self conscious cough,
And then did thump McSlob right on the head,
So he fell into the pigswill pronouncably dead!
Piggy began to eat the fat lout,
And there was no mucking about.
First the toes and then the feet,
Followed by legs as a special treat!
Buttock and waist were quite to his taste,
Followed by hands with sausage like fingers,
Most delicious with a taste that lingers,
And to follow, as if for dessert,
The repulsive head of the McSlob squirt.

McSlob’s wife later came to seek,
Her husband being now worried about the geek.
She found the bucket, his boots and hat.
Nothing else remained, so it seemed that was that!
But then Piggy emitted an enormous burp,
Leaving Mrs McSlob baffled as to whereabouts of the twerp.
She shrugged her shoulders in a resigned fashion,
Thinking McSlob to be at the Pub, as was his passion.
Now if you thought grizzly poor piggy’s actions,
It’s just as bad people gobble pigs with stupefactions
One should undoubtedly vote for the piggy cause
And hold approbation, or any applause,
When people do argue their inalienable right
To mercilessly slaughter pigs, yes, true if trite
Such thoughts as these are not designed,
To provide one with great peace of mind.