Feeling like a fish out of water
So I have always, always been a private person. In fact you can say I took it quite far. I mean I never owned a diary for the fear of expressing my innermost desires and thoughts only to have it discovered and subject to criticism and judgement.
Not that I have ever had any sinister or evil thoughts that would make anyone weary of me or anything, it was just that sense of being vulnerable, being open and exposed that kept me in the confinement of my own making. I had the vadious labels of being the odd one, the quiet one, the one who doesn't show emotions, the one who talks less and gets into less trouble and recently the one they secretly fear a little. Lol. Quite a combination, right?
As always, there are advantages and disadvantages to being a 'loner' and more often than not my silence has been misinterpreted to suit the needs of those searching for the interpretation.But I also have stayed out of trouble on numerous occasions as a result of this trait of mine so silver linings and all of that.
Being extremely observant and sensitive to any and everything comes with the territory. It could be something as simple as body language, tone or even changes in energy and i will pick it up immediately. (Classic overthinker i am).
Leaving my comfort zone is my biggest obstacle i am actively trying to overcome because being a perfectionist that i am, i would rather not begin any endeavour than let it be done non chalantly or with zero effort . Mediocrity is a no no for me!
Lately i have come to understand and truly appreciate that sometimes there is perfection in imperfection. There is a method to this madness. You have to take the first step even if you dont see the whole staircase and all of those inspirational quotes you know. They will always be words and nothing more until they are put into action and become a habit.
Till i have the urge to write again, stay safe and be happy.