Children and selfishness - why sharing is so difficult
Children are egoists. Merciless egoists. And that's her right. And yet it can sometimes make us parents white-hot. All the better if the egoist sometimes falls out of his role.
Okay, it's been a long time, but we all still remember it. How our parents tried to educate us into social beings who do not just think about themselves. "Share it with your siblings," it said. Or: "Let's just play the boy with whom nobody else wants to play." Or: "You do not necessarily have to take the biggest piece of the cake." It's not that we did not listen to our parents back then. No, we were not that stupid. It just did not interest us. Of course we took the biggest piece of the cake. And only shared when it was absolutely unavoidable. And of course we did not let the nerd play along. Because: we were egoists.
Selfishness is no shame - with the child
Children think first and foremost. Presumably that has set up the evolution so that the little boys and girls did not get under the wheels. Back when it was important to get the biggest piece of cake (or mammoth). Because the food may not have been enough for everyone. Today, food is usually enough for everyone, but selfishness has remained. And we parents are wondering day after day that we can not drive our children out of this stubborn self-centeredness. Or at least very, very slowly and with great difficulty.
Selfishness is a shame - in the adult
For our social value system frowns on egoism, and that is rightly so, somehow. Who does not fret about the people who paddle the plate at the buffet to the limit, so that the last gets only a few crumbs. Or about the car driver who blocked two parking lots, where even one would have been enough. Or or or. Also to think about others - that really belongs in our society.
A long way
Since we do not want our kids to become such egoists (okay: some actually want their kids to be like that, they just think that's the way to make it happen in life), we talk fuzzy every day , And talk. And talk. And preach. And scold. And maybe even threaten. It's not that our kids would not listen to us. Of course, they are not that stupid. They certainly give us the nice comforting feeling that they are listening to our hints and exhortations. Nod in the head, look us with a good dog's eyes. And behave the next time hair exactly so incredibly selfish.
Who's to blame?
This is of course very frustrating. And it does not help us a bit further if our parents assure us that as children we were no better. That must have been due to the wrong education by our parents, right? We can do it better, right? Steered by countless education counselors, we really know how it works today. And if it does not work, then one thing is clear: it can only be due to our children. It is your fault! You can or you do not want to change!
Behold: a glimmer of hope
It would be to despair if there were not always this glimmer of hope. For example, our eldest daughter recently brought home a school friend who is currently on crutches. The girlfriend had not been picked up by her parents at the school. And so our daughter took her to us on the bus, so that the limping girl did not have to drive alone. I was touched. Once again this social being, of which we dream as a parent, shimmered through. Good: I was a bit annoyed too. Finally I had to drive the school friend home now, although I had to do otherwise. I old egoist ...
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.
Other Dad-Chronicals Stories
Resilience as a key to success in life: Nobody can harm me!
DAD-Chronicals : Puberty - time of changes
Babyhood - Expect parents in months 0 through 12
Anger at one's own child - how to prevent it and find solutions
Small wonders for little people - 10 games that stimulate children's senses
Ornament or torment - stud earrings for babies and toddlers
The first time alone with the baby at home
From the beginning a supporting role - why fathers are the ideal baby carrier
Mission Impossible - A father on a bargain hunt
45 Theses - How Your Life Will Change Through a Child
Mood seismograph child - Look at your child and you know how you feel
1,2,3 siblings are not same...
How the relationship with own parents changes with children
Christmas as a divorced father
Christmas: family tradition, educational weapon and love everywhere
Follow VimmTV (
) for frequent updates, contests and giveaways for our early adopters!