Nursery Wreck or Why Kids Break Things
To make her happy, Bernd has bought his 3-year-old daughter one of those dolls that she has wanted for so long. Such a person who can speak. And makes sleep sounds. Marie was also incredibly happy and has gone straight to her room with her gift. When Bernd peered curiously into the nursery an hour later, he could not believe his eyes: the doll consisted only of individual parts. And these were also scribbled with ballpoint pens beyond recognition.
Now Bernd has exactly two alternatives. He can get terribly upset, tell his daughter how much the doll has tasted and that she will never get another gift if she always breaks everything.
Or he can stop. Maybe even a little smile. And think about why Marie took the doll apart.
Childhood research!
Children are discoverers. They are researchers and adventurers. You have a thousand questions and would like to answer them. Are people hiding on the radio? What does the inside of a vacuum cleaner look like? Are the hairs of my Barbie doll growing up? And what happens if I rub the contents of a toothpaste tube on grandma's Persian rug?
There is no evil intention behind it. Even if the parents' tolerance in such cases is strained to the utmost, mom and dad have to learn to understand this: nothing is broken here, research is done here! And whether the Persian carpet cost several thousand euros or the doll was brand new does not matter at this moment.
My tip: Simply bring valuables, lighters and tools to safety!
Short and small
There are, of course, other reasons why children break things. They, too, know anger and anger. Since you can ever pepper the entire Playmobil collection in the corner. Or defiantly ripping your own books. Children still lack the channel of communication and despair manifests itself in destruction. They reach their limits and do not know how to overcome them. Adults know this feeling too ("I'll cut everything short and small!"), But they can usually control themselves, swallow anger or find another valve. Children still lack this opportunity.
My tip: offer other rage channels ("Look, take the old newspapers and tear them up"). If everything in the nursery had to be thrown on the floor in anger, that's okay, if the rage then does not forget to clean up afterwards. Maybe it helps, too, if you just go with the bundle of energy at the door, where it can let off steam in the playground and scream for physical forces.
The thought counts
Luke wakes up on Sunday morning and has the glorious idea of preparing his parents for breakfast. When they get up half an hour later and enter the kitchen, they almost hit him. The orange juice is two-thirds on the floor, the butter was smeared carefully on the kitchen counter, the refrigerator has been open for half an eternity, the bread was cut into oddly formless blocks and the sausage now looks like it's been eaten. And in the middle of it, a Luke with a proud chest.
My tip: do not freak out, but see the thought behind it. Please do not be discouraging "Never do that again!", But rather praise for the nice idea. And on occasion show how to close the fridge.
"Daddy, look here!"
Sometimes children deliberately do what is strictly forbidden. Why? Because then, and only then, can you be sure of your unrestricted attention.
Example: The child paints on a picture for a felt eternity. But dad does not want to come and see it because he's watching the sports show. Hmm. What am I doing there? Yes exactly. I just take his beloved Miles Davis records and scratch them with my crayons. Then he sure looks. And: the child is right. The strategy is one hundred percent. Even if it has to endure a tirade, the attention it wanted, got it.
My tip: Take your time and do not ignore your child's requests. That's as little as you like!