FEAR OF CHANGE
Fear of change can keep us from confronting problems in our lives and get us stuck in our recoveries. Deep down inside, we know that change is inevitable.
However, because we already have to adjust to so many changes that we have no control over—growing older, loss of employment, floods, fires, car accidents, medical crises—we delude ourselves into believing that things will be all right if they just stay the same.
Due to the success of bestselling self-help books on any number of topics, it would seem that there are many of us who really do want to change our patterns of behavior.
But after reading the books, we often question ourselves. How will our relationships be altered if we change? Will we be comfortable with our new identity?
A team of church volunteers was hosting a meeting with several other churches in their city. Because the meeting included a breakfast buffet, some of the furniture in the small room had to be rearranged.
When the senior pastor of the church saw the new set-up, he called together the volunteers and stated that the room needed to return to its original arrangement immediately. He frantically pointed to the indentations in the carpet and instructed that the tables and chairs be put back into those exact same spots.
The pastor could not accept the change in the room. For him, everything in the room needed to stay precisely the same. Noting their pastor’s discomfort, the team began to discuss a new plan for the breakfast buffet while moving the furniture back.
The pastor dropped to his hands and knees to supervise the move, issuing instructions to ensure the placement of the furniture legs into the critical carpet indentations.
Most of us fear change, and we can sometimes allow that fear to get us stuck in our recovery journey. When we begin to fear change, we need to go back to Principle Five:“Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.” It helps to understand that there are three main reasons we resist change.
- We may be paralyzed by the fear of failure. But falling down doesn’t make us a failure; staying down does. This is where our faith and trust in Jesus Christ come into play.
Philippians 4:19 assures us:
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
We may fear intimacy because of the fear of rejection or of being hurt again. This is why it is so important to move slowly in a new relationship, taking time to seek God’s will, to develop realistic expectations and to establish proper boundaries. We hold tightly to Psalm 118:6: “The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
We may resist change (growth) because of the fear of the unknown. We may think, “My life is a mess, my relationships are a mess, but at least I know what to expect—a mess!” The unknown can be scary if we are trying to face it alone.
That is why we need to rely on Christ and our accountability team.
God tells us in Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
If we find ourselves “stuck” in our recovery, it may be that we are resisting a change that God wants us to make. It is only through change that growth can occur. It is only through change that our recovery can happen. It is only through change that we can become free from our hurts, hang-ups and habits.
Take a Look:
• Are you paralyzed by your fear of failure? In what specific area are you afraid of failing?
• Are you fearful of intimacy because of your fear of rejection or of being hurt again? What “old baggage” from a prior unhealthy relationship are you still carrying with you?
• Is your fear of the unknown stopping you from making the changes that are necessary for your continued growth? What are they?
• What do the words found in Isaiah 41:10 mean to you?
BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THE FEAR OF ANYTHING..