<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[RSS Feed]]></title><description><![CDATA[RSS Feed]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com</link><image><url>http://direct.ecency.com/logo512.png</url><title>RSS Feed</title><link>http://direct.ecency.com</link></image><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2026 01:46:01 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="http://direct.ecency.com/@blueparrotnews/rss" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Student Finds Pen After Digging Through Backpack for 15 Minutes]]></title><description><![CDATA[MEMPHIS, TN – During Dr. Jennifer Fisher’s lecture on mitochondria, student Candace Anderson decided she needed to find a writing instrument. So right in the middle of the presentation, she decided to]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/student-finds-pen-after-digging-through-backpack-for-15-minutes</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/student-finds-pen-after-digging-through-backpack-for-15-minutes</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 31 Jan 2018 11:02:54 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/3jpR3paJ37V8t3d5gG8YxUrFtTrvhgCDjjN8jFs781XSJgTjzbow5DYVen2vL9UFUxCDGdMSewH7WMcSNcmbQmukMaA7ZdswbTtDsDyY4sEE5TvJs3nSLFunNBtsJbtbnMyRg?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Teen Buys Bitcoin on Coinbase, Now Cryptocurrency Expert]]></title><description><![CDATA[TOLEDO, OH – Yesterday, 17-year-old Ethan Wright purchased 0.002 BTC on Coinbase with his debit card. “I’m predicting it’ll moon” commented Wright. “I might buy a little Ethereum with my Bitcoin as well,]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/cryptocurrency/@blueparrotnews/teen-buys-bitcoin-on-coinbase-now-cryptocurrency-expert</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/cryptocurrency/@blueparrotnews/teen-buys-bitcoin-on-coinbase-now-cryptocurrency-expert</guid><category><![CDATA[cryptocurrency]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 23:56:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/cyxkEVqiiLyAJMrzqHfWLT7YbdgoprDQGwdeDRwr2FWrtRnTqoxCFi6TYNg6g4cVV7qd9JoKb1jjq6qJsTdJVjRM2iqjmMKdEYGytayGGYz88fnuW1bBUtCos9gQcQQisT4?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Man Finally Gets Capri Sun Open Using Jackhammer]]></title><description><![CDATA[After attempting to open his Capri Sun juice pouch with the appended straw for 20 minutes until it bent and broke, Billy Bartle resorted to using an industrial grade demolition jackhammer to break the]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/fakenews/@blueparrotnews/man-finally-gets-capri-sun-open-using-jackhammer</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/fakenews/@blueparrotnews/man-finally-gets-capri-sun-open-using-jackhammer</guid><category><![CDATA[fakenews]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 08:52:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/D5zH9SyxCKdBnJaFeHnL3svQi9ZN2XzXDbzH7WcA2V7ofeBBgUiAwmuq9gHpxdB9Eg96QdQGRfUatonzgUeJbXVeCcPGzypSJzao8L12xfL5YRPMNY5wCvPcXnBhSGBSAqUAJr?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Dangerous New Trend has Teens Washing Clothes with Mister Salty Handi-Snacks]]></title><description><![CDATA[Inspired by the Tide Pod Challenge, teens and young adults have been participating in yet another dangerous activity: washing their clothes with Mister Salty Handi-Snacks. This comes with all sorts of]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/tidepods/@blueparrotnews/dangerous-new-trend-has-teens-washing-clothes-with-mister-salty-handi-snacks</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/tidepods/@blueparrotnews/dangerous-new-trend-has-teens-washing-clothes-with-mister-salty-handi-snacks</guid><category><![CDATA[tidepods]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 08:47:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/JvFFVmatwWHVQPjDcGkFxELgGtwNAntRtiqDuEyxtgKX3R6fXvo6BnbA4Us3mvoaJjmnbBkxk9vujFatTSaMZprMT2irGVe25zeEp9jkoQBRtNrbq2neyyCQtF2oTYbRsbaRjxZrUv?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Fruit Salad Remains Untouched at BBQ]]></title><description><![CDATA[PLANO, TX – Guests at “Burgers by Burglars”, a community service event where local felons serve hamburgers to young children and their families, reported that while the patties, mustard, pop, and other]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/humor/@blueparrotnews/fruit-salad-remains-untouched-at-bbq</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/humor/@blueparrotnews/fruit-salad-remains-untouched-at-bbq</guid><category><![CDATA[humor]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 08:42:18 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/vM1pGHgNcyCiaxZmdb555hkjecmqomntNdRp7jg9ucYHB5TXA3JSRTYfw9CkJYgsq2Vh2gNFyvhbi1if8K9MemTrZB9pt56wzQ7KDfWoUpucU1mx9Yk2PskPGpNpB83QSVRhpHk?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Waffle House Open During Nuclear War]]></title><description><![CDATA[NORTH CAROLINA – The 24-hour breakfast food chain Waffle House has decided not to close its doors during the latest nuclear war between Russia and the United States. When asked about the controversial]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/waffle-house-open-during-nuclear-war</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/waffle-house-open-during-nuclear-war</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 08:28:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/vM1pGHgNcyCiaxZmdb555hkjecmqomntNdRp7jgAJZVk3prNMBy9sqFxmLStHHLabJb1Up9Ziyeuywbf34xD9khujZHtwEpGSNiCiXbA3x1zHRRpLcng3WWsHcjWwJtXCWdX6bp?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Man Writes Inspiring Facebook Post about Getting off Facebook]]></title><description><![CDATA[SILVERLAKE, CA – A man by the name of Alex Clapper has written an awe-inspiring post on his Facebook wall about how people are addicted to the internet and need to focus on the important things in life.]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/man-writes-inspiring-facebook-post-about-getting-off-facebook</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/man-writes-inspiring-facebook-post-about-getting-off-facebook</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 08:22:33 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/4i88GgaV8qiGEw1xifwYz2xp7RJEnNpBZq7dn2K62KAN4GHchHcSYxxQ2jcj2TqeubSaYPqe2cffQ5BqivY5Fgx8Y1wkuGsQ8hmcaeUrPGCiBw5cBnMXqmytAr?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Earth Quarantined from Rest of Universe]]></title><description><![CDATA[MILKY WAY GALAXY – In a unanimous decision among the other planets, Earth will be placed in isolation from the rest of the Solar System. “Earth has had an infestation problem the last two-and-a-half million]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/earth-quarantined-from-rest-of-universe</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/earth-quarantined-from-rest-of-universe</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 08:13:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/99pyU5Ga1kws91ecJjkANAzfstp5ietJ4ACvk9NVNbC2MAuQYMukGjskEut9qcJc4WAenYnKG3CssZa8GZBmm2Bq8ofUs1hkiqvCotN7UnH39JMsah2nLwGYiTWCqJqKEW?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Bernie Spotted at Library Browsing Craigslist Free Section]]></title><description><![CDATA[BURLINGTON, VT – On a trip to check out The Maple Syrup Museum, Vermontian Mariah Bennington was unexpectedly struck with disbelief when she found her Senator on the library computer, grazing over a list]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/bernie-spotted-at-library-browsing-craigslist-free-section</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/bernie-spotted-at-library-browsing-craigslist-free-section</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:56:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/7258xSVeJbKnFEnBwjKLhL15SoynbgJKpQxRd1uosDBZ6NoC1jCa364Q3aYWFy3mqsHnrzT1Wtj9tXw5sMwdVe6EYBVE1n4mM6MgosusbNTyuv4A72Qfu1xhbKH1xGXWMDNVpLAiK8kbG?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Opium Poppy Sad Its Tears Are Illegal]]></title><description><![CDATA[GOSTAN VALLEY, AF – Earlier this week, Polly the Opium Poppy was crying sappy tears about how she couldn’t immigrate to America because the opium in her tears are a controlled substance. “I can’t help]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/opium-poppy-sad-its-tears-are-illegal</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/opium-poppy-sad-its-tears-are-illegal</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:48:09 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/4i88GgaV8qiGEw1xifwYz2xp7RJEnNpBZq7dn2K5zMwHr5xWYcR1UPrFjzzCRZ1fZ49etAdhY5dRF7xp18onFrGbwRxxsd1PvEtMDM4LiskTDx5aAd7ghgBA78?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Cat Unimpressed With New Dry Food]]></title><description><![CDATA[PORTLAND, OR – On the morning of January 18, 2017, Graham Cracker the cat rose from his slumber and did his usual morning walk to the food bowl. However, this was anything but a normal morning for him.]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/cat-unimpressed-with-new-dry-food</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/cat-unimpressed-with-new-dry-food</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:40:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/6VvuHGsoU2QD2aHbJiivbVZV6nAA4BJrX2xi1YbtytXXfX9SBGGUnAJWjJSma6B2uxpFGQ4ggaGEKEudh4YaZCntJkPgAdzat9MzVqHkhFNzggJMKqjBF1iom1FKvn?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Math Teacher Unsure What to Do With 57 Plus 14 Watermelons]]></title><description><![CDATA[ABBEVILLE, LA – Early Monday morning, 3rd grade math teacher Patrick McCooley loaded up his car with 71 watermelons. “I was writing a word problem for an upcoming test, so I had to buy these to double]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/math-teacher-unsure-what-to-do-with-57-plus-14-watermelons</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/math-teacher-unsure-what-to-do-with-57-plus-14-watermelons</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:35:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/vM1pGHgNcyCiaxZmdb555hkjecmqomntNdRp7jgAo5PHWu12yaCVYp4myvRjxZZgvWCmKobRMdAQUd1eXsBUBZ9ZqkqavTgTrPQJovjw3KMViMtn4bvuWEaqPaGnS4ZfoSXE8Fx?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Research Suggests Brussels Sprouts Still Gross]]></title><description><![CDATA[BRUSSELS, BE – New research findings from Katholieke Universiteit Leuven suggest that Brussels Sprouts are still gross. The data also shows an inverse correlation between number of Brussels sprouts served]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/research-suggests-brussels-sprouts-still-gross</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/research-suggests-brussels-sprouts-still-gross</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:29:54 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/2r8F9rTBenJR3iqPxDrevHK3vDeQGnHc8Wj8C8nehRgGnjLbV7qgLyWHacjQehFdc2asrRcAKUabysxDe2AsqnAAeagJd5w8KPXTUDyjBb959Jin5KGjS9GuyWTnCv4Dk?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Veterinarians Desperately Try to Revive Burger at Annual Office BBQ]]></title><description><![CDATA[OMAHA, NE – In an unexpected and unfortunate turn of events, the veterinarians from Greenwood Vet Clinic were confronted with a very ill patient at their annual BBQ. Lead Veterinarian Sally Canole commented,]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/veterinarians-desperately-try-to-revive-burger-at-annual-office-bbq</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/veterinarians-desperately-try-to-revive-burger-at-annual-office-bbq</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:24:06 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/4i88GgaV8qiGEw1xifwYz2xp7RJEnNpBZq7dn2K5yoDXG2vBpuVcBYL3SAzBhmHuqYcDHMMPiscgGd5okAnaiaRCwSNXFA5H3aTWGerxKiPBpnncas7idfhEPx?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Study Finds Happy Meal Toy More Nutritious than Happy Meal]]></title><description><![CDATA[CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers at Harvard University have concluded that the toy included in a McDonald’s Happy Meal is the most nutritionally dense part of the meal. Christopher Tracy, one of the study]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/study-finds-happy-meal-toy-more-nutritious-than-happy-meal</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/study-finds-happy-meal-toy-more-nutritious-than-happy-meal</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:18:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/qjrE4yyfw5pQYiuVvgYiUBP16WHGGN7UNn1BCdGdZ8UFju57v69YfPJRAy7AUNnFAUYwTeVdHLbPH2c8nfEP69aCsuKXnxtbsRD8MrtaSaoXS3w21z6FsDCi?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[Macbook Pro 2017 to Have Chip Reader as Only Input]]></title><description><![CDATA[CUPERTINO, CA – The controversial decision to remove everything useful on the 2016 Macbook Pro has continued with the 2017 update. Leaked documents by an Apple insider appear to show that the next Macbook]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/macbook-pro-2017-to-have-chip-reader-as-only-input</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/satire/@blueparrotnews/macbook-pro-2017-to-have-chip-reader-as-only-input</guid><category><![CDATA[satire]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:13:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/3jpR3paJ37V8t3d5gG8YxUrFtTrvhgCDjjN8jFs77rssUW76bHybtpjAZxTpWwmNZDVhb83FTWM9CDp4iciEYZtpojVDLUfFoFAAUs2kkb6ivbMEBTBbrzsJesrxfh5PJT9e6?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item><item><title><![CDATA[This is Blue Parrot News!]]></title><description><![CDATA[Hi! Blue Parrot News is a satirical news website kind of like The Onion, except with a parrot. You can find our latest posts here on Steemit, at blueparrotnews.com, or at @blueparrotnews on Facebook and]]></description><link>http://direct.ecency.com/introduceyourself/@blueparrotnews/hiya-this-is-blue-parrot-news</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://direct.ecency.com/introduceyourself/@blueparrotnews/hiya-this-is-blue-parrot-news</guid><category><![CDATA[introduceyourself]]></category><dc:creator><![CDATA[blueparrotnews]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:07:57 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://images.ecency.com/p/D5zH9SyxCKdBnJaFeHnL3svQi9ZN2XzXDbzH7WcA2V7ofeBBgUiAwmuq9gHpxdB9Eg96QdQGRfUatonzgUeJbXVeCcPGzypSJzao8L12xfL5YRPMNY5wCvPcXnBhSGBSAqUAJr?format=match&amp;mode=fit" length="0" type="false"/></item></channel></rss>