I met this guy at a CVS. He looked to be a pretty ugly ass baby, except he wasn't a baby at all. I mean, clearly...look at him...he has a full beard. I mean if he was truly a baby he would have some sort of aging disorder or at minimum an excessive amount of testosterone for such a young child.
He walked over to me and asked me where the baby formula was. I guess because I was wearing a red shirt, he thought I worked there. I told him, I don't, that I was just getting mouthwash and Flintstones multi-vitamins. He then shook a rattle at me. I couldn't tell if this was a threatening thing or like if he wanted to play.
I tried to do some "goo goo ga ga" type talk, but then he just told me to shut up and that since his mom had remarried some new guy who had money, he was getting neglected. And by neglected, he said she stopped breastfeeding him. Thus he was looking for formula. I'm pretty sure I saw him shoplift after our convo. I'm not sure if he ever got caught for it, but if he did, I'm not sure if he would be tried as an adult.
Sometimes I think I identify as a baby, but this guy was ridiculous.