I have an abcess on the right part of my ass since two weeks, I got a disease that makes this happen, but it's a rare event as I am in remission most of the times.
It's the kind of stuff that is 15 cm big and that made me not able to sit down anymore.
I haven't gotten such a big abcess for 5 years, in the same spot also.
Generally, my dermatologist simply break it down for me, or it just break down by itself with some bad green stuff that simply goes out.
Unfortunately my dermatologist is in holidays, and it got to a point where I was not able to walk anymore.
So I went to the ER yesterday morning.
I live in Nice, south of France, so I ended up at the hospital where they had to handle things you really don't want to see, like war wounds, you know, after a mad guy with a big truck drove over people on the 14th july.
I felt like my wound was so stupid compared to what they saw last days, and made a joke like that to one of the workers, who told me that what they saw is unbelievable and a good thing it was not shown in the newspapers.
I have a special disease not known so much, that is called "Verneuil's disease" which creates abcess here and there through times, fortunately I got a very low level of that disease and is in remission most of times as I already wrote.
It's also only located on the right part of my ass when it happens.
The problem is that they have a standard procedure for such problem in ER, that is uneeded.
And I was scared they would not listen to me and force me to do that standard procedure, so I saw a nurse first, that took my temperature and arterial pressure, which was just fine.
Then there was that cute student who came and asked me questions, to then make me wait for a young doctor, who asked me the same questions.
Of course they all had to touch my ass and put a finger on it to make me scream each time, just because they can do it, as if doing it once was not enough, and as if it did not look bad enough already.
I had to explain over and over again the same thing even tho I explained the problem already.
The young doctor looked at me and told me :
"it's a deep abcess, we will have to incise it, and wick it out".
Which meant, surgery + weeks where I would be on the belly.
While getting controled cicatrisation, and not able to sit on my ass.
I never needed that before, and I was expecting to hear those bullshits, so I had to argue on how I never needed it and don't want to do such procedure.
At worse I just went them to get the "pus" out, and let my body do it's own process after.
The guy argued with me, because yes, I am not a doctor, but I know what I talk about.
He told me that if I don't do that I will have a big scarce and it will come back.
I then told him that it will come back soon or later anyway and I don't see a point to do his procedure, and then be disabled for weeks just to avoid another possible bad scarce at the same spot.
We kept arguing and he decided to give me an appointement to generalist surgeons a few hours later.
To talk about it further, instead of taking care of it right now.
After being miscarried a few times (I had to go to some place, then wait, eventually they told me to wait somewhere else, and once again, to go somewhere else)
I was then able to see two doctors ladies at once.
I had to explain my story again. At this point I was frightened, because I felt I had to argue again, as it was clear the first doctor only thought about the standard prodedure.
The one I really wanted to avoid as it's not logical given my specific case.
Fortunately the two girls knew my disease and were very funny aswell.
I joked a lot with them.
They then tell me that they will instead simply pull out the greeny stuff.
I was so relieved when they said that !
A little pissed off about the first doctors I saw, that clearly made me panic for nothing..
So they put me in on the belly, and tell me they will pull out the greeny stuff out with a seringue.
Before they do, I ask them to give me something to bite on, because I knew I'd scream heavily.
They did not have anything for that matter.
I warned them tho.
So they start to touch it and I make briefs violents heavy screams here and there until they get the stuff out.
The kind of scream that you don't even hear in horror shows.
Then one of the girl tell me "wow a 7ml seringue, it's not bad ! look at that !"
I look at the seringue filled up, and say "Yea ? Is that a good level ?"
I was so relaxed at this point, and with a big smile of relief.
She then says "Yep you got a good score".
Then I ask if I can try to sit once again, to which they agree to.
Like a miracle I can instantly sit normally again.
They give me medications to fight it now that they removed the pus and the pressure in my abcess, then give me another appointement on Monday to pull out the left over, if there is some again by monday.
I thanks them a lot, jokes with them again, and then walk out.
As I walk out, I got a big smile on the face, almost about to whistle since I was so happy, and all the patients in the room behind the door, instantly look at me with a desperate face of horror.
They looked up at me.. The guy who screamed like in an horror movie..
Like they never heard before, and comes out like the happiest man ever :D.
What a paradox ;).