Its true you can't eat, not its not that I think I am fat, I am pregnant and all. I force myself to eat, and I have noticed a different in my face, well there double chin is only like a half. Even though I have been crying my eyes are radiant blue. I am focusing this weekend on getting the house in order, even though we may have to bale in a few weeks. I started walking more I tell the boys that we are training, keeps them occupied. I remind myself that I am only 27 years old, I don't have to let myself go. Beauty isn't everything, but a persons outside can be a tell all for what is going on inside. I am more conscious about what I am serving my kids, and when I do eat I make sure it is something wholesome, a salad or a green smoothie. I could be like him and make my children suffer in my selfish desires. He wears his badge of adultery, I just want my to say dignity. I can say at least that I did know, I am not in the dark. Who he was to me isn't who he is. He is a person that has proclaimed he hated me over and over repeated it six times, four days ago after I awoke early to try and be present and be all June Cleaver and such. The empty promises of better, he is at the casino, this is a man that one time told me as he was standing in front of the children that he was going to the casino to find a old lady to suck his dick. This is what it is about sex, he just wants a willing mouth to put his dick in. Tomorrow the sun will shine, I will try to be a woman that my daughter will admire. I will teach my sons to respect women.