So, once again, a bit of what is going on with me.
I'm honestly struggling with some fairly crippling depression. I'm having a really hard time keeping my head above water most days, but I'm slogging through. I've been through this enough times to realize on some level that this is just a phase and it will pass sooner or later. I'm hoping for sooner. :( I feel guilty when I read posts online talking about how some people have a hard time around Christmas because they don't have any family... but I have my husband and my kids. We actually aren't beyond broke this year, so I was actually able to buy some gifts for everyone. I feel like this year should be the year I get a break from the seasonal blahs, but they just seem as bad as ever.
I have been slacking/forgetting/missing out on EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL THING in my life right now, both real life and online. I don't even remember how long it's been since I was on discord at this point, even then it was just to drop in and say "sorry I am not here". At this point, I'm literally afraid to get on and see all of the things I should have been doing and keeping up with. Just seeing the icon on my bookmarks bar stresses me out because I am SO BEHIND.
I realized on Friday morning (or Thursday night) that I once AGAIN forgot to do the Freewrite House Favorites post, but then I had the grandkids all day, so I couldn't do it and forgot again... until just now.
This is what depression does to me. I can't sleep, but I end up staying in bed way too long. It makes me so thoroughly unmotivated to do anything and then I get behind just enough that my anxiety kicks in full force until I'm too afraid to check in with anyone. I don't know how to handle the perceived frustration from people or even the sympathy and "it's okay" things from people. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place.
All the while, my husband is spending pretty much every waking hour on this particular phase of the Cannabis Growing Business because this just happens to be the time that takes a LOT of time and attention. I know it's absolutely necessary and will have such a great impact on saving our financial future, so I understand, but it's really not helping my emotional state, either. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way, because I am so so tired of struggling financially after decades of it, so I WANT this to happen/succeed.
On the few days that I've had the motivation (which has been embarrassingly rare) I'm writing a little bit on my second novel about Jacob & Samuel. I'm also doing a few final edits on my 365 Marks on the Wall novel as I get feedback from my beta readers. There is all of the Christmas preparations, time with my kids and grandkids.
But really, I'm doing WAY less than the bare minimum amongst all of that. I shouldn't even say I'm working on it at all, but I have thought about it more than once and I think I spent a couple of hours on a couple of days trying to do something that didn't actually pan out.
The weird, unusual-for-me-thing this time is that I'm cleaning. I know I'm doing it to avoid talking to anyone or to avoid my own writing/work, but I still count that as a wonderful change. Before now, I was always so overwhelmed by the amount of cleaning that needed done, that I would just end up literally sitting on the couch all day stressing about it. Lately I've been keeping up with the housework at least part of the way, so even now, it's not too stressful to catch up.
That doesn't help the writing/socializing part of my life, but at least it makes me feel like I'm doing SOMETHING.
Anyway, that's a glimpse into the life of this creative person. I guess those dark stories have to come from somewhere? I apologize to 
art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
Photos are mine except where they are credited to their source at the bottom of my post (Or in the case of linked thumbnail cover photos in the sig, they are sourced at the original post).