I have found that one of the most important skills someone can have is correctly evaluating people and what they bring to the table in terms of relationships. Not all people are created equally and many of the times they arent worth your time. Our time in this life is precious and not worth spending with people who again and again act in malice and exhibit traits of a bad person. These toxic people eat up large portions of your life and you have to realize it sooner rather than later.
In every relationship there are defining tense moments and it is at this time you have to realize that sometimes people deserve a second chance and sometimes they dont. This isnt only in personal relationships, but also in the business world if you are a boss. Making mistakes is common, but if a worker doesnt learn from his mistakes and continuously makes the same one, they cant be trusted. It is the person who realizes they messed up and tries to act better in the future, that you want to keep company with.
I have a friend ill call Jenifer and she has been best friends with a girl ill call Rachel for almost her entire life. However in adulthood Rachel stopped acting like a friend and started becoming a toxic person. Jenifer was always on the phone trying to help Rachel, but Rachel didnt want to be helped and ultimately the relationship fizzled out. My friend tried to keep it alive for years, but there was nothing she could do, that time she spent on Rachel was wasted. During that time again and again Rachel acted in a toxic manner and tried to bring my friend down on the same level with her. It was four years before she finally figured out it was time to cut her loose.
Rachel might have deserved a second chance in the beginning, but after making the same mistakes over and over again, she refused to change for the better. Sometimes it is out of control of the person who is acting in malice, it might be another life event that is influencing them, but other people cant be dragged down by them. In many cases they need to be left to figure things out on their own rather than trying to help them. When they realize changing is the only viable solution, is when they can finally move forward.
I honestly do believe that in time people can change, given the right circumstances. I think we all mature and change based on our life experiences, multiple times in our lives. We too could potentially become the person who doesnt learn from their mistakes and isnt worth being helped. I believe that we need to sort that out on our own, or with someone like a therapist who can help. Each relationship is different and must be accounted for differently , but they should all be a net positive.
-Calaber24p