The Will to Change [Day 2]

        I’ve loan
        ed blood
        to soil
        ed hands

        violence that
        comes with
        a side of
        fries and
        a boy
        tearing
        or tearing
        the legs of
        a spider
              off

        my blood
        ied soil
        stain
        ed hands

        a crack of
        jaw or smile
        splitting the
        face of
        a boy
        with a side
        of stitch
        es and ice
        cream
        or cry
        ing the
        seam
        seems to
        have come
        undone

        my blank
        et in soil
        ed hands
        violet like
        bruise
        d fruit or
        violent
        like eye
        s that catch
        the light

        I grasp at
        clasps that
        seal my lip
        s shut like
        my jacket
        I leave on
        to hide that
        I’m not
          cold.

_{Rare for me to write something this vulnerable, but here we are.}

_{A handful of years ago I was introduced to a book, 'The Will to Change' by Bell Hooks.}

_{This book helped me in not only self-identifying as a feminist, but also understanding what that would mean for a CIS white man, often unprogramming a lot of my learned toxic masculinity and learning how to become and be an ally and find a voice to speak against problems (read "other men") while balancing the need for that voice to be one of support.}

_{It's an ongoing process, but I'm incredibly thankful to Bell Hooks for setting me on a better path for my life.}

_{When I was a wee lad, I got into a few fights with an older and bigger kid because he would pull the legs off of daddy long leg spiders; these never ended well for me.}

_{I bought into a lot of toxic masculinity that was part of the culture of my upbringing, hiding bruises and writing them off and developing a self-depreciative complex to cope with being bullied for being strange: things like showing love for spiders, having an accent and lacking confidence.}

_{So yeah, all this to say, Happy 'fuck every guy who searched "when is international men's day" on google' Day. Cheers.}

_{Written for free-verse poetry maven Hive account@d-pend's amazing poetry initiative The 100 Day Poetry Challenge undertaken for Steemit School where Hive account@d-pend will be hosting a daily poetry show at 7 PM GMT - Advanced Group.}