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My darlings!

It is with great embarrassment that I tell you I have FAILED Hive account@phelimint's FITNESSCHALLENGE.

Technically, there is about another week until it's over, but for all intents and purposes, I did NOT reach my goals. And there's no way I could in the next several days.

Now, let me be fair: I didn't fail at everything.

I just didn't reach my goals (or get even close 😏 ). I learned quite a bit about myself and hopefully have gained a few insights that will help me get closer to succeeding.

First, as expected, I started pretty strong.

I had charts and calendars to keep track of my progress, which made it more fun for me. Then suddenly... I would just miss a day... or pay less attention to my water intake... or just make excuses. During all of this hidden decline, I got the flu. Surprisingly, though I completely stopped moving for about a week (those flu symptoms) I didn't really gain anything back, but I definitely lost a lot of the exercise progress.

My focus changed.

It's not bad. It's actually pretty good. I started really focusing on creating vlogs, which is something I've wanted to do for about 5 years now, but simply haven't ever been brave enough. At first, this seemed like it literally took me all day to complete a video. 😲 And it did. Luckily, now I'm MUCH faster and have kinda found a groove to it.

I'm doing more, but have more time. 🤔

Just a month ago I was doing a LOT less, but feeling so much more overwhelmed. Something has changed. I'm feeling more able to complete tasks and add more responsibilities to my plate (and know I can/will come through).

What am I going to do about this Fitness thing?

I think I have a good plan. I've been watching others and trying to figure out what works for them and why, and see if I can find similarities in myself and use their tools. I already know that I need some kind of schedule for me to be productive. I thought I was doing this with the challenge, but really I was WAY too lenient on me. I was allowing me to workout whenever I wanted during the day. That ultimately made it really easy for me to miss a day OR worse yet, my whole day would be shitty because I was constantly thinking about working out and stressing about it.

The big change

I'm going to get up an hour earlier than I normally do... and Just do it. I fear this is going to be a pretty hard challenge for me. Not only do I LOVE sleeping in, but I HATE working out in front of people. In this case, it's my husband, who loves me no matter what... which quite frankly makes me want to be as sexy as can be for him. I feel so sad and embarrassed that I've let myself get to this point. I have to just buck up and do it. It's not like he's unsupportive in any way. In fact, if I asked him to hide in another room while I workout, he would. I just feel like that's a bit ridiculous and childish. I'm working through some hard (for me) things, but I know that eventually, I'll get over the hump.

Investment

I'm also slowly building a home gym of sorts. Nothing fancy, just a few things that will help me stay motivated and not bored. I'm super stoked to get some suspension training rings. I'm still a little worried about the cardio side of things, as I kinda hate it. LOL! But strength training, I like... and definitely could use more of it. I joke about having a weak upper body, but really, my jokes don't even come close to how bad it is. 😕

So many things are going so well!

I've been hitting a lot of challenges lately, but each time coming through and tackling them. I feel like I'm doing pretty well being aware of myself and seeing the stupid things I do(if only moments after) and figuring out/learning the lesson. That is feeling a little bombardy at the moment. 😨It's like all the lessons are being thrown at me as fast as I can take them. And I guess I can. 😍

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Thank you, Hive account@phelimint !

For realz. I put a LOT of time into trying to figure out what I could do to really help myself. Without your motivation, I would have never tried. Well, I would have tried, but it would have been even more pathetic. 😅 I have zero regrets taking part in this. In fact, even though I failed hard, I'm so glad I felt I could even give it a go. The money motivation was a BIG help and hurts even more knowing I've thrown it away because I couldn't complete this. But! I'm also happy that it goes to others (probably Hive account@byn- who is AMAZING 😍) who DID go above and beyond and deserve a little extra something for their hard work. I know I'll get there.

Proof of Payment:

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New Goals

So, I'm still working on it... but I've set some new goals for myself. My deadline to looking more like me circa July 2015 is JULY 1 2018. This should give me ample time to create some new habits and start loving myself like I know I can. Besides losing weight (and inches), my main goals will be new habits. Specifically, waking up and doing cardio BEFORE anything else. I'll start every other day (alternating with some Ki Yoga) until I build up some strength and lung power, then up it to cardio 5-6 days a week. I'll also be doing strength training (cause that's more fun).

Conclusion

I'm not entirely disappointed. I'm glad I now have new motivation... or maybe that's the main thing I learned during the challenge: Where I find motivation. 😀 I do know that all I can do is a little better than I did yesterday, and then I win. 😍

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