When we started our family we had the intention of raising our children on a farm in a low tech environment. Thats how we started, and it was amazing.
Three years after starting our farm, the landlord unexpectedly sold the property and we had to leave. We sold our chickens, dug up our amazing garden beds, and retreated into a traumatic depression as a family.
We decided to buy a bookstore and move into a converted school bus. We began to work around the clock and our children no longer had the magical nature filled life we had initially manifested. This is when we became a high tech family. Netflix, video games, tablets. Thankfully the converted school bus provided us great access to State Parks, National Forests and nature in general, so there was a counter balance taking place.... but the truth is, we were working so hard that it wasnt enough... This is when our children changed in my opinion.
I hated sucking them into a screen, but I had no other way to keep the business open. We put the business before our parenting philosophy and it hurt. It caused real pain and damage to us all.
Suddenly we became disconnected, tension ran rampant, and our children lost something very special - connected, attentive, empathetic parents.
We are selling the bookstore back to the previous owner, and no longer have such intense demands on our time. This has allowwd me to be more observant of things like technology's influence on their behavior.... once the tablets came on they become snappy and irritable, it made me feel sick. What had I done?
After travelling to Mexico for 6 weeks I felt inspired to do my first fast. I will talk about that in a future post, what I want to focus on here is one of the huge revelations I had while fasting -- we had all become technology adicts.
I decided that the bus (where I live and the kids stay when not with their dad) would become a low tech zone. No more tablets, those have to stay at dad's, no more xbox, also sent to dads. At first my kids were shocked, but after discussing it, they agreed to try it with me.
I committed to only work on my computer when they were at their dad's or when we all made a trip to a coffee shop. I also agreed to only use my phone as a camera and a phone while they were aroud and awake, turning off the wifi and mobile data suring the day.
Our first day as a low tech house was hardest on me. I found myself grabbing my phone, turning on wifi, and checking notifications even while playing card games with my kids Insane!!! I could not stop myself, it happened unconsciously.
I kept correcring myself and turning the phone off, and spent many hours trying to focus on life instead of my phone. Wow! I was for sure addicted to my screen. Worse than my kids. It made me reflect on the past years and missed connection.
That first night bedtime was super easy. The sun set, we did a tarot card reading for each of the three of us, and by the end of the 3rd reading, both kid's heads were on my shoulder. Brush teeth, crash. Wow, easiest bedtime ever. My daughter used to stay up until 1 or 2 am binging out on her tablet, then sleep on past noon. We literally could never make plans before noon to accommodate her. Not that night, and no nights since!!! Our sleep rhythms were absolutely impacted by the screens, and our sacred sleep space has been reclaimed!!!
As the days went by I stopped compulsively reaching for my phone and began to truly enjoy the quiet spaces in my head. I accomplished so many things!!!! I began to make a list of things to do online in my notebook throughout the day. When I got to the coffeeshop I would run through the list quickly and easily. I became incredibly efficient!!!!!
The kids began to fight less. They began to bond more, to play more. They did more art, read more books. Life became much more simple in a matter of days. In fact, things went so well, John decided to make his home less tech centric as well. He works on the computer more than I, so the kids and him agreed tablets only while he is computer working.
So far I feel that my children are happier, more connected, getting better sleep, and learning even more from their environment. For me, I can think more clearly, get more done, and waste less time. My time on technology is now more focused and more efficient. It feels GOOD.
I will let you know how it goes as our journey continues. Technology usage is controversial in unschooling circles, I want to make it clear that I judge no one's choices around technology, but research does point to a dramatic impact on the brains of developing children. Sleep is a huge health issue and I feel like we (my family) are finally on the same page with its importance. We could get into the negative impact of wifi, 4g, bluelight frequencies and more, but I will let you google that on your own for now.
How does technology fit into your life?