Have you ever pondered on how life went south for you, have you asked yourself questions about things that happened to you and why?
I am the first child of my parents...in the Eastern part of Nigeria [The Igbos] we call the First female child “ADA"
Most responsibilities of the family normally stumble on her. She is meant to lead and the siblings will follow.
In my case it was different, I always try to put everyone through, advice and counsel, smack you if I have to, stop late nights out, and co-ordinate the house in other. Most times when my salary is been paid, I used most of it to purchase food items and. take care of some needs needed at home.
It got to a certain time I stopped it because I was looking like a grandma😂😂 already in my youthful age (* not physically smiles but mentally*).....I too have plans for myself. How I can keep reproving a child that chose a path entirely different from mine.
After few years, I moved away from home so I can build my life, I learned living in a hard way, it was hell because no one cared I meant no one.
Imagine living your life with so much pain and struggles all alone...for a lady to be quite independent it ain't easy at all....... but despite all of this I came out STRONGER AND MORE DETERMINED.
Most times I break down although it is normal for every human to break down right?? Yeah it is...you know what? I lived with it, I learned to adapt with all manner of pain, disapproval, betrayal, injustice, and agony it was all part of me.
It was hard to smile lol, you could see through my unhappiness if you were to see me...I was happy and at the same time unhappy.. like you know neutral so you can see am living with it.
But something strange happened to me something I observed after a while it was the POWER OF SILENCE.
It was something that made me quiet...the challenges of life.... life's bitterness..... because no matter the way I tell people about what is happening in my life they seem not to understand me......so why I keep talking???? Why the narration??? why the bla bla bla???
I had friends that always come to see me but most times they want to influence me to do things.......they tend to show off their New Clothes and New Phones and whatever that was trending in the world...being extremely materialistic..., when I don't meet up to their standard and high taste of material things they bully me like I care lol.....
PS: - (no one has to push you past your limits, contention, and peace)
I said to myself...I don't want pressure from anyone or any friends, if I had to cut them I gladly will cut them off because they were just bad influence to me...what I want as of then and now it's not what they want.
As time goes I secured a job at an estate where I work as a laundry worker, I picked clothes from different people in their homes to the store where we do laundry and there was this particular client who has gotten some trick in his sleeve for me.....when I come to his home he always touches me and harasses me and when I don't give in into his game he started raining all kinds of abusive words to an extent of reporting me to my boss, funny enough my boss, on the other hand, is someone just like him you know this popular adage.
“Birds Of Same Feather Flock Together”.
He has been on the same Hunt with him even before the client started, so when the client reported me to him it doesn't look like I was in a big shit of course how would he go about it? But with his customers and clients, he is so mean when it comes to business but since they were men they already placed me as a minor priority so he looked for blames and excuses.
He lay all forms of accusations on me just to ruin my job saying I stole from him and his customers weren't pleased with my services also he has been looking for a particular wristwatch.
You should know a Rolex watch or Diamond Ring it is quite expensive...... but come to think of it even if I stole that, it would have paid my salary twice or thrice and why would I still be there if indeed I stole it but it wasn't my field or type of thing so I will never do that.
With each day passing he continued with his hunt to get me laid I had a reason to stay back because of my salary it's almost due...my boss persistently continued his hunt and at this time he started humiliating me everywhere, using curse words on me adding to my pain...I kept quiet that's the POWER OF SILENCE. He kept ranting and ranting looking for a way to sack me if I had utter a word but I didn't.
So after few days I left his laundry store and in search of another job.....this time I got a nice job and fortunately it was my sister's that is someone closer to me and my family so I felt comfortable and relaxed.
After days into my new job, my ex-boss called me and say that he was so sorry and that he had never had peace ever since I left and he wants me to send my account details to send my salary he was owing.
That is the POWER OF SILENCE.
★ I was born in a family where Mom and Dad don't care, my responsibilities started when I was 14 everything I had today was my efforts and suffering.
That shaped me to be a LIONESS you dare not cross my line cause you might be bitten in the long run... smiles. SILENCE speaks a lot only when you truly want to know what happened behind my closed doors.
I am strong and can face any realities of life cause I have been through it. I was never loved as a child, do you feel my pain? That pain shaped me.
FINALLY I WAS HAPPY
Well yes, something wonderful has happened to me.
The most special thing that ever happened to me was GAINING ADMISSION INTO THE UNIVERSITY.
It was almost 2 and half years after I finished my secondary institution and I got a job offer in Spurs Ranch. There I worked as a waitress day and night tirelessly to earn and feed myself, it was a tough one, feeding on hand to mouth.
Nigeria's system is not or never like the American system where things work differently. Life wasn't easy for me been a girl child because the responsibility of being the first of the family rested on my shoulders...(now that sounds like Merlin hehe😂😂)...
“You will know if a whole salary you earn every month will vanish into thin air like phew phew ”😁😁 Most times I had to feed once a day in other to save some money for myself. That was how it's going every day till seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, hours became days, days became months, months became years before I knew it time flown.
One very fateful day I closed from work, I started thinking about myself I have been working and saving for school but still, yet it looks like I haven't saved a dime..... I have always wanted to go to school that particular chase has kept me working!...... I broke down in tears and beat my chest and say “No matter what I MUST get admitted one day”.
On the other side, My mom with her pressure for me to get married and to moved to a man's home... let's put it this way my native name is “uzoamaka” meaning my path is beautiful!...my mom saying “uzoamaka when will you get married” another phase of thoughts. I looked at her and smiled and said “don't worry mom God will do it”.....
That is, by the way, I have plans for myself and will work for them.
It was time for Jamb Utme, I read my books and went for exams, I had scored higher than the cut-off mark, I had two choices of university, it's either UNILAG or UNIZIK. I read a lot you know but I was working at the same time, my colleague was reporting me to the boss. It was time for Post Jamb, I gave an excuse at work for a couple of days traveled to write exams what happened was still shocking...I was almost there at the cut-off mark in both schools, just add additional 3-5 marks am good for admission but no they gave me another course.....I hated that course.
I never stopped reading, So I continued the chase of getting admitted this time I stopped working because it almost ruins my chances of getting admitted. I worked till the end of the year and stopped, I repeated the process of writing Jamb Utme and Post Jamb this time I changed my choices of schools I chose IMT (institute of management technology) Enugu, and Yaba college of technology.
It was stressful I wrote exams in Lagos, the next day I traveled to Enugu to write exams, I was on a hot seat I read intensively day and night. After some days I checked back and lol and behold I was admitted to both schools, I was super excited and extremely happy I shouted for joy.... isn't this special to me.
It was indeed so special and encouraging to me but now I don't understand anymore, the Educational System in Nigeria is so bad and so stressful, it is just looking like a lost treasure hunt.
The government is so so corrupt and not putting efforts in the educational sector, youths are left with no future sometimes I wonder the need to further the education whereas in this shithole of a country, the president or whosoever that's there don't make the efforts of our study worthwhile...... so many youths don't have focus anymore while some still have hope and focus. We need a change things are extremely tough here!
Thanks for Reading!
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