HAVE I BEEN LIED TO? MY STORY IN CARE...

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I first came across Hive account@familyprotection a few days ago, after reading a post from Hive account@article61 (what a nice person). I am nearly 20yrs old and grew up in care in the UK, I had seven different foster carers between the ages of six and sixteen, I rarely speak about my experience in the system because I find it easier not to think about it, or dwell on the past. Above is the only picture I have of me when I was little, I'm the happy little girl on the left, the happy little girl on the right sent it to me, after we found each other on Facebook, two years ago, we were both 4yrs old in that picture. I have spent hours and hours reading posts tagged with Hive account@familyprotection and have found myself looking at that happy little girl in the picture, wondering if I have been lied to all these years.

I find it difficult to recollect what exactly happened, maybe I don't want to remember, but I certainly don't remember any kind of physical abuse at home. I can remember my mum and my little brother, trips to the shops, mum taking me to school, I don't remember my dad at all, or any other family really. I was six years old when I was taken from school, two women took me in a car and dumped me at a strangers house. They were the SS, they told me my mum was ill and could no longer take care of me, they introduced me to my new foster family, then left! I never saw my mum or my little brother again. I must have been confused and scared, my mum had taken me to school that morning.

At six years old you don't ask questions, but as the years went on and I got older, I asked plenty, hitting walls of silence every time. I rebelled a lot, got moved from foster home to foster home, because they couldn't cope with me. I turned into a very angry teenager, smoking, drinking, fighting, then I got mixed up with an older crowd, we stole a car, went for a joyride, then set fire to it, I was 14yrs old! I was picked up by the police and ended up in a Juvenile Court.

The judge ordered psychiatric reports before sentencing, I sat down with my then foster mother and broke down. All I wanted to know was what had happened to my mum and brother, why had she left me!! She came with me to the psychiatrist, he was pretty awesome actually, I felt comfortable talking to him. He wrote his report, then came sentencing day!! The judge told me that because I hadn't killed anyone (I wasn't driving the car) and because of my unsettled life and upbringing, he had decided not to send me away (what again) but instead, place a curfew on me, I had to be indoors between the hours of 7pm and 7am. To be honest that was a blessing in disguise, I started talking to my foster mother more, built a bond, then eventually she and my Social Worker sat me down and told me that my mum was a drug addict who could no longer look after me or my brother, he was only two at the time, young enough to be adopted out, I wasn't that lucky!!

I calmed down a lot after that, I'd been told the truth finally, I'd accepted that my mum loved her drugs more than she loved her kids and moved on. I did OK in my exams and left school and the system when I was sixteen, my social worker helped me get a place to live, gave me some money for furniture and stuff and released me from foster care, I was on my own. Since reading some of the stories on Hive account@familyprotection I find myself wondering if I was told the truth about my mum, surely I would have seen drugs in the house, or her taking drugs, if she was an addict, like they say. Take a look at the picture, I look happy, I don't look like a child that's neglected. I found it easy not visiting that place in my head over the years, but I have a whole bunch of questions now. I have made the decision to try and find my mum, I will be contacting my old social worker to get as much information as I can, if they let me have it.

I rang my social worker this morning, I asked her for my file, she says we will talk about it on her next visit!! Up to the age of 21 I have visits from my social worker every six months, the next visit is due in four months. Can they just fob me off like this or is there something else I can do?