Loise's POV
The heavy afternoon traffic allowed us to be together longer. Despite coming from a great adventure with you, I still couldn't help but become emotional. Seven years, long enough for us to create thousands of memories I will never forget. You were my best companion. And to you, I have nothing but gratitude.
As the light turned green, we continued sailing. It was hard to believe but our final moment had really arrived. Sadness had taken over me. I opened the window and felt the wind blowing in my face. It also blew away the little tears flowing from my eyes. No words. No music. Silence seemed right. And in the seconds that followed, I recalled everything that happened before we arrived at this final moment...
Perhaps travel is my favorite form of reprieve when the world would go haywire. I often have problems confronting reality, so I tend to escape from all of its complexities. Just like that fateful day when I decided to explore the world to search my soul after an untoward incident in my life.
It was the first time that I got to travel solo. It was scary but exciting. I met a lot of people. Learned a lot of new things. And gained wisdom from every experience. After a month of gallivanting the world, I came back a changed person.
I channeled all of my energy in rebuilding my life. I have set goals, realistic ones. I have also set my priorities straight. And in a short time, I felt like I was ready to have you.
I have always wanted you in my life, to be my ally, my companion, my home wherever I go. Thanks to my impulsive nature, even if I wasn't sure if I was really ready for you, I took my chance. I told myself, you were worth it. Who can resist something so beautiful as you?
But I admit, I also doubted you. I dug in for information about you and scrutinized every detail I could get. I needed to make sure I won't be facing any problems with you in the future. I was truly enamored of the many beautiful things people were saying about you -- they have nothing but praises. And so I have decided to pursue you.
I made sure I wore my best dress on our first meeting -- it was floral and pink. I have already arranged everything for us. I have that attitude wherein I want everything to be perfect, especially when it comes to important matters. Our rendezvous was in an auto shop in Damosa, Davao City.
I can clearly remember the first time I laid my eyes on you. My heart skipped a bit, you were everything I ever dreamed of! You were masculine and strong -- just as how I wanted you to be.
I slowly walked towards where you were situated. My whole mouth was curled up. A smile. Big and sweet. Anyone can easily see the overflowing happiness I was feeling. Then I touched you. Gently at first. But I couldn't resist my excitement! I carefully examined every part of you. Like a detective who is searching for clues.
Then I was convinced. You were every inch of the word beautiful and every letter of paragon bold and strong. And on that day forward we were inseparable.
Our daily routine started with me greeting you with a smile. I like to see you fresh and well-groomed. So I always take time to make sure you receive your daily dose of tender loving care from me.
I was just working from home then. Hence, our bonding moments were only limited to weekend road trips or unplanned getaways. But that's the best thing about you; you were always there when I needed you.
You never complained about everything that I ask of you. You were my all around guy. I remembered one time when you had to carry 10 sacks of cement and several boxes of floor tiles when I was renovating our home. I didn’t know what I would do if you weren’t around at the time. But that wasn’t the only time; you did several other hard works for me over and over again, without resistance.
You knew how I loved to travel. So wherever I went, there you were also. You served as my companion whenever I go on road trips. You served as my home when I want to escape from my own reality. You heard the laughter I shared with my family and friends. You saw the tears I never shed in front of others. You witnessed the different struggles I had to endure in life.
With you I was able to explore the world on a wider scale. Remember the first long drive that we had? It was only two weeks since we had each other then, and my friends were with us, so I was really shaking. The road we took was not easy. I guess you would agree that the most dizzying roads are the zigzag ones; plus it was steep and narrow. I had to be very careful not to let us slip on the cliff. But you were very strong and your endurance was impeccable. It was a long seven-hour trip yet you gave us such a wonderful travel time.
We arrived at our destination safe and sound. Everybody was tired, and so were you. So I let you rest at a safe spot while my friends and I started to enjoy our vacation. The whole time we were there, we never bonded. You were just patiently waiting at the spot where I left you. You endured the sun and the rain, but never complained, because you knew I was having the time of my life.
When it was time to go home, you happily greeted us with your sexy wink before your doors were opened. Another seven hours on the road where I can sing along your music, comfortably lean my back on you, and touch you once again. I thanked God for those moments.
I have always adored you. But things suddenly changed. You started complaining. There was one time we went on the road. We were happily singing Eraserhead’s Overdrive when you suddenly stopped. You also produced a sound I did not understand. I had to pull over to check if you were okay. You didn’t respond. That was the first time you let me down.
Since that day, I had to consult my friends about you. For the past seven years, you never gave me problems. So I needed to understand why you were acting so weird. It was the boys that I asked advice from. They said that’s how it really is. The longer it gets, the harder it becomes to maintain. Maybe they were right. Maybe your selflessness had taken its toll on you.
I tried to pamper you. Maybe that’s all that’s missing. But after several attempts of trying to fix you, you remained broken. As I was looking at your scratches, I have realized how I have not taken good care of you. I have treated you wrongly. I am sorry.
Believe me, I tried to save you. I didn’t mind spending time, energy, and money just to see you strong and well again. But I can’t go on forever trying to fix what’s already broken. As much as I wanted to keep you in my life, I had to make a hard decision. I had to let you go.
But before we said goodbye, I wanted us to have one last ride, one last time.
You with so much grace,
subtle yet palpable.
You with so much strength,
broken yet resilient.
You never let me down this time;
you endured the ride until the end.
I wiped the remaining tears that formed in my eyes. We have finally reached the end of the road. I stepped outside ready to say goodbye. I wanted to touch you and look at you a little longer. But goodbyes are ephemeral.
As I handed the keys to your new owner I felt an irrepressible sadness. But at the same time I felt relieved knowing that you will be given better care than when you were with me.
The engine started. The horn was blown. As you pulled away, my eyes were glued at the sight of you slowly fading away. Until I completely lost sight of you.
I took a deep breath and whispered, “I wish you knew how thankful I was for having you. I will miss you dearly, Popoy.”
The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.
Part I : Popoy's POV
Image 1 from here
Image 2 is mine