What having high emotional intelligence does, is displays certain attributes for those who are socially skilled. What most feel however, is that they have no idea how to act in certain social situations. They feel aloof, and their erratic awkwardness shows it.
So they think they’re doomed to a life of nerdness. That their social graces, they wanting to fit in with the elite crowd, the cool kids, will never happen. Know that regardless of how fragile your social skills may be, all it takes is making just a few minor adjustments in behavior.
What being socially sleek offers, is the currency that gets you ahead in life. From more success at work, to capturing better relationships with the superior crowd.
So knowing how you come across in social situations, becomes an important positive skill set to adopt, for establishing your personal identity.
You’ll then feel more refined when interacting with others, especially when meeting strangers for the first time. What you know, is that you can rely on your new found communication skills.
1. How You Control Your Nonverbal Behavior
Know when to make appropriate eye contact with others, come across with a smile which isn’t phony or forced, while simultaneously exchanging pleasantries. Have a firm warm handshake, and not an ice cold fishy one.
These gestures of nonverbal human communication, perceives to others that you’re self-confident and approachable, a refined socially tuned in human.
This opposed to coming across as “cold,” not interested in connecting with anyone. Coming across as standoffish or even angry. Warmly connecting is when you appear likable, allowing others to feel at ease in your company.
What you want, is to appear friendly and approachable if you want others to like you. Once they do, they’ll want to be around you, which increases your chances of forming a relationship and establishing work success.
2. Be Mindful Of What You Say
Always be mindful enough, to develop the skill to control what you’re planning to say before you say it, this by managing and regulating your verbal output.
Suddenly swearing or yelling at others, isn’t considered acceptable social etiquette regardless of the situation. This especially in group settings, such as the workplace or the dinner table.
Sudden unexpected outbursts of anger are unacceptable, when it's directed towards those you live, work, date, or are related to. The first thought, is that you have a few screws loose.
There are certain exceptions, when you feel comfortable expressing what you’re truly thinking. This includes those who you are close to, such as your work buddies or childhood friends when having a drink, because it’s expected.
It’s knowing when these behaviors are okay and tolerated, and when they’re not. It's also easy to fall prey to drop a few obscenities when you’re talking, as it sends a shock statement.
So what you need to know, is when it’s appropriate to draw the line, just as you need to wear clean clothes to appear presentable. Always meet and greet others with respect, while polishing up your speaking and language skills.
3. Don't Cross The Line
Knowing how to act, when to say something that’s appropriate and not unexpected, is a dangling balancing act that keeps you aligned socially. It’s also knowing precisely when to maintain the proper distance, between you and others tactfully.
We all how know embarrassing it is, to listen to the narcissistic mouthpiece, who talks too much. Or the gossip queen, who constantly overshares their thoughts, or has a habit of frequently intruding and invading ones personal space.
They have a habit of revealing way too much of themselves to others, things that can’t be unheard. They have no idea where to draw the line, when it comes to those in authority such as their boss, or the opposite sex.
What they do, is just constantly blab on, this to anyone who’ll listen, usually fueled by a few adult beverages. This instantly perceives them, as lacking good judgement and maturity.
4. Show Empathy
To be liked, you need to activate your "feeling" detectors. What having finely tuned social skills means, is that you’re sensitive enough to read the nonverbal behavior of others.
So always read their body language first, this as a way of finding out what and how they’re feeling at that precise moment. Are they nervous, sad, stressed, or are they happy and relaxed.
Use these body signals as a baseline, on how you’ll respond or act in their presence. You don’t need to verbally state that you recognize what their feelings are.
What you can do instead, is gather the data about their inner state, this to communicate in an appropriate reciprocal manner. Begin by mirroring their body language, telling them you know what they’re going through.
5. Control Your Emotions
You need to be on top of your own feelings, as anyone can suddenly burst out in anger, become upset, or have a sudden irrepressible impulse, such as inappropriately laughing out loud.
So if you want to be regarded as having refined social skills with everyone you come in contact with, you’ll need to monitor and stifle those emotions.
Then there are some, who will never show any expression or emotion whatsoever. The sooner that you're able to show that you can control your emotions, the sooner that others will trust you.
6. Improve Your Self-esteem
Having refined social skills won't mean anything, and won’t help you whatsoever, if you don’t genuinely believe in yourself. Have the confidence in yourself, so you can communicate effectively with others, while displaying your self-composure.
Once you look comfortable in your own skin during social interactions, is when you’ll appear approachable and genuine. As your social skills improve, so does your self-esteem.