Are you sitting on a big pile of BTC worth millions and dreading lodging your taxes?

Me neither.

However, following the surge of cryptocurrencies last year, many Australians are facing the prospect of having to declare crypto profits.

I know, I know... the thought the of having to hand over large sums of cash I didn't work for, over to a government I forgot to vote for (no one told me the election was on, sorry), isn't something I look forward too either.

The fact remains, taxes must be paid ... or do they?

I am by no means proposing breaking the law. That would be illegal. However, there are a few tricks you can use this tax season to greatly reduce your crypto capital gains – possibly to zero.

Get a Foreign Passport

Got a nana in Scotland?

How about a bunch of cousins in Ireland?

You remember when Aunt Przybyszewski from Poland came to visit that one Christmas?

Having family relations in another country may entitle you to citizenship in that country.

If you have dual citizenship, when the tax man comes knocking, you can just be like “Guten Tagen Misour Taxbanmen, Nihoma, si!”

Next thing you know, you're in Germany knocking back 3L glasses of beer, enjoying a full tax exemption.

But what if you don't want to leave Australia you ask?

Oh, that's easy. Once you finish up with your Contiki tour, just apply for an Australian student visa. This is good because not only will you be eligible for cash in hand jobs (the tax breaks just don't stop), but you will also be able to get full marks in your final exam at English school.

You get out of paying taxes, some government worker gets paid to process your student visa, and your English teacher gets their averages bumped up.

Everybody wins.

Put Everything in the Mrs' Name

Start thinking of your wife not as a loving partner or the mother of your kids, but for what she really is: a legal entity that can immunize your assets from seizure.

You can't pay taxes if you don't have any money. It's not your fault that your financially irresponsible and gave your wife hundreds and thousands of dollars for her birthday along with a letter, signed by a notary, that clearly states the money is a “NON REFUNDABLE GIFT”.

There is a risk with this method: You will have to trust a woman. Good luck.

Move to Bali and Become a Yoga Teacher

Since the universe made your Bitcoins go up in value just for you, it's probably a good idea to spread universal consciousness and raise harmonious oneness with all living things in Bali as a yoga teacher.

As long as you stay in Bali for at least 6 months, eating raw vegetables, and connecting with the one universe force energy source, your tax bill will just magically disappear.

The best part about this tax strategy is, once you finish taking deep breaths in the lotus position, you can go out every night and get plastered, giving the rest of us a bad reputation, for like $2.

Just stay away from the grass.

Go Bush

Since the financial system is going to collapse soon, destroying civilization as we know it, and thereby paving the way for a global Libertarian Utopia, you might as well just get off the grid now.

Fortunately, the Queen owns a bunch of bushlands she never uses and you can use this land to live until bitcoins become the official currency of the world.

Don't worry, you won't need any solar panels, baked beans, or band-aids.

The Australian bush has everything you need to survive. There's plenty to eat too like kangaroos, snakes, lost tourists, and people who watch V8 Supercars.

By the time the government collapses thereby nullifying your tax commitments, you won't even want to come back to city life.

The Nuclear Option

I know some of you don't have any family overseas, are too ugly to get married, have too much self-respect to become a yoga teacher, and don't know how to use a compass.

For you unfortunate souls, there is one final option to get out of paying your taxes. I'm not going to lie - this is drastic. 

This method should only be used when all other methods have failed and there are no other options available to you.

Unlike the first four methods, this method is most likely going to make you lose the respect of your family, friends, and colleagues. 

Nobody will like you. You will be an outcast, a pariah.

If there are no other options left, and you are willing to face the consequences ... I guess you could move to New Zealand.

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Disclaimer: This is not financial advice, this is jokes. The author of this post believes everyone should pay their taxes. The author of this post always pays his taxes. The author of this post has no intention of buying a sailboat and sailing into international waters on the 30th of June 2018.

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All information for this article was sourced from HERE.

All Images are courtesy of pixabay.com