Introducing myself to you lovely people whom I do not know is probably one of the most daunting things I have been confounded with since I joined. I t has taken me an age to engage for this very reason. So, I would like to thank my husband 
I am an actress who has really just gone out to seed, spread branches - physically speaking- and not in an attractive way. Case in point: here is a photo of me about three years ago, before I had a kid, well I was actually 'preggers' in this photo. But, I'm sure you get my meaning!
And this is me quite literally now! Fuck you Kim Kardashian- I can post a picture of myself wearing no make-up and with no plastic upholstery. Someone give me a medal!!!
Fattie fuck up aside. I am going to be in this Season of Vikings by the History Channel of which I am a huge fan. Working with the team there was wonderful and yes Alex Hogh Andersen is very hot (sorry Honey, you are hot too my love). That's all I can say about that for now.
So, here are my 5 Facts so that you know a little bit more about me and what makes me tick:
1. I love cooking but I hate washing up!
Wow, I know this is a masterful revelation- I bet you are simply gasping at my bravery right now, aren't you? But honestly I would pay anything for a housekeeping robot of even just a 'dishwashing-drying-putting-the-dishes-away' one. I seriously cannot wait for these to come out. When I used to daydream about my Oscar acceptance speech, it never occurred to me that this would be the epitome of my aspirations. But that's motherhood right there; pot walloping. Someone once gave me the best advice I have ever heard; edit the shit out of your life. It is kind of a mantra for me. And so, I want a housekeeping robot to edit the shit out of my domesticity so I can do things like Steemit posts instead of walloping pots for my art.
2. I am a dog person.
I suppose I just like the idea of being jumped on and possibly knocked over. Let's face it; cats would leap at you, claw onto your top and drag you both downward whilst screeching angrily. This is not the same level of lovable greeting! Not the same when you have to reach for plasters to rejoin the surface of your skin. Dogs rule. They sit at your feet. They lick your face. They can smell cancer before most medical tests. Watch the documentary called The Secret Life of Dogs by Channel 4. Best friends for sure.
(This photo is from reddit-free-dog-photos.)
3. I used to be a vegetarian but now I am a carnivore.
I am neither proud nor ashamed to say that the late River Phoenix was initially responsible for my conversion to vegetarianism- which is an indication of my time on this planet. And it was my time spent at university in Thessaloniki, Greece that eradicated it as well as that of my friend Clare's vegetarianism.
At the time there was no Greek word for "vegetarian" or at least what the dictionary gave me was the translation for 'vegetable'. So for the first three weeks or so, Clare and I went around saying in bad Greek: 'Hello, we are from Ireland and we are vegetables.' The end started with a harmless morcel of ham on pizza. I think we lasted about two months before we decided together that we had to eat some decent protein. The canteen or 'Leski' dished out one meal a day and you were damned if you had any alternative desires. However, these days I would like to return to it- especially with the planetary crisis. As soon as I can figure out how to cater for my family, I will be a 'vegetable' again.
(from Wikipedia)
4. My Pet Peeve- People who stand in doorways having conversations!
I live in a country where it rains a lot and it is always windy- Ireland. We absorb all the saturated clouds from the Atlantic Ocean and take a pelting for the rest of Europe. Hence, chilling out in doorways is a no-no! This phenomenon occurs at supermarket entrances in particular for some reason. When it is lashing cats and dogs outside, you cannot get in, you are blocked by a crowd of chatters. Or, if you want to get out of a supermarket, usually when you have six bags of shopping cutting into your delicate hands, there is a keenly led conference of those who find it difficult to make decisions. I generally start with an attempt at civility: "Excuse me please, can I get through?" They always turn en masse and look at me, look at the bags and say "Of course!" Then they move one centimetre- as if that is sufficient and continue chatting. So inevitably, I end up bulldozing my way through, bashing them like collateral damage as they curse and spit at my being as I battle forth into the unencumbered onslaught of Irish weather.
(by db_medallo images on Pinterest)
5. I don't want to be famous!
Frankly, it is insane for an actress to not want fame. Fame is inherent on being a working actress. So I am a complete paradox. This is because I am at heart a grumpy person. It would be my worst predicament to be eating a nice meal in a restaurant and be approached for a selfie mid-mouthful. I would seriously struggle at politeness (ref: Fact 4). For example, I never ever answer my phone while I am eating or at a meal. This is a sacred time for me. Why? Cause I'm eating. Grump grump. So, Tom Hanks and those who will pose for selfies for two hours while their dinner goes Artic on the plate- I salute you. Maybe I will mellow with old age...but maybe not.
(The Daily Mail fan page)
