Thank you 
When I send my child to school, I expect one thing: that my child will be safe during learning and interaction. Some schools get it right. They don’t just preach “no bullying” in school morning devotions. They build it into the system as a standard.
I have seen schools with strong anti-bullying policies: banners in hallways and walkways, suggestion boxes for anonymous reports, posters that define respect. They hire trained career guidance counselors. They organize seminars on the effects of bullying for students and parents. For boarders, there were hostel parents whose job is to listen when a child says, I’m not safe.
In a previous school I worked with, there were CCTV cameras everywhere except inside the toilets. It was like "someone is watching you" and the students were always careful not to violate any rules. Bullying was a punishable offense ranging from suspension, community service, or expulsion with repeated violence reports.
Even teachers were held to the standard. No overreacting and name-calling students who were "slow achievers or learners". Adults should set the standards, If we bully, we teach bullying. In that school, students could report anyone, maybe another student, a senior prefect, or even a teacher. And they did. It was because they knew they would be heard.
It’s very common to associate school bullying with only students. Sometimes, the bullies can wear uniforms with badges.
I have seen and hear teachers bully slow learners with sarcastic and ridiculous remarks like “Why are you so dull?” some even give the child funny names. That is bullying too, it can make a child dislike a subject or become nervous. It’s not right to bully a student whether you’re a teacher, a school prefect, or the biggest boy or girl in SS3 or the most popular boy or the most beautiful girl in high school.
Bullying is rarely a one child - solo act. Sometimes a group where the leader gets the power and the members feel safe by not being the victim.
In that school, if students were involved in a fight. Everyone present faced the panel — not just the one who threw the first insult or fist. Yes... even if you stood by watching as a student or teacher, everyone was disciplined before the disciplinary committee.
They saw Silence as a permission for continuity. And permission keeps the cycles of bullying running.
My advice to my child
I am raising my children to be confident, bold, respectful and considerate.
- So I would advise my child to report to the school authorities any case of bullying by speaking up and standing up for themselves.
- I will teach them to confide in a trusted people like the counselor in school and a good friend to walk- work together. Bullies often pick on weak, timid and lonely children.
- If my child speaks up and the school fails to handle the situation well, I will visit the school with proofs (documenting every complaint or an injury) to know what is the safety plan for my child?.
- And If the case of bullying becomes repetitive and it’s affecting my child’s performance and mental well-being, I will have no choice than to withdraw my child to another school. It is better to be safe than sorry, like the saying goes.
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While writing this, the question "what if my child is the bully" this came to mind equally, what would I do as a parent?. It was hard to get through.
*What if your child is the bully?* For me, I will criticize his behavior not his person. I will discipline him or accept the disciplinary actions imposed on him by the school. Then I will talk with him because I need to know why he is bullying others and correct the behavioral pattern.
Some children become bullies not because they want to hurt others, but out of peer pressure, the need for belonging and acceptance. Some bullies come from families where there's dominance and violence. They learn that power means hurting others first, before they get hurt.
I believe if every parent raises their kids with empathy, respect and consideration for others, it will result in safe learning and interaction between students because bullying can damage more than a school day.
Parents set the pace and the school builds the steps. Schools can only discipline what we send them. It is not out of place to say kids spend most of their days in school, so the school should be a safe space for children. A safe school supports a happy childhood.
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