There are a few times in life where I can recall advise given to me that didn't fall on deaf ears. This moment stands out the most to me for it occurred during the most bizarre circumstances for it happened when I was in mediation with my ex husband over the custody of my two boys (4 and 2 at the time). The mediator started our first session with a statement that he probably said a hundred times but it rang true for me. He said, "You may of had a marriage that didn't work but this is your choice to have a divorce that does work. That would be what's best for your boys." It was like time stopped and I felt that that statement was meant just for me. Up until that time my focus wasn't based on what was best for the boys but it sure changed after that statement.
I wish I could say that my ex husband was impacted by those words but I can't. Instead he put my older son in a very difficult position for he would say many untruths to my son whilst placing himself on a pedestal. Now before I completely throw him under the bus, I did leave the relationship and made some questionable choices along the way. These choices caused quite the uproar and I am responsible for the circumstances and confusion they caused; my ex used that to his advantage. What my ex forgot was that no one can live up to being up on a pedestal unless they live an exemplary life; he did not.
My oldest really struggled with living with me and my new partner and always kept that pedestal programming from his dad. It wasn't until he moved in with him when he was maybe 15 years old that things slowly started to deteriorate. Well, fast forward 5 years and that disillusionment has eroded to disdain and disgust; he won't call him father, or even dad for he calls him by his first name. That is a huge bone of contention for their dad just hates being called that from his own son. My son's heart was broken by his father's fall off his pedestal and it's hard to watch his angst.
This last visit was a blessed one for my son started to realize that this intense feeling he has for his dad is sending out a pretty specific vibration and one that doesn't produce positive results. The problem with that is that the Universe will receive that transmission and will return more of the same. I told him that that feeling will dampen any positive dream building he may procure for it drowns out any other vibrations of less frequency. At that moment my son had that look on his face like I did back when I met with the mediator. My son is very attached to his dreams and finally saw that the toxic thoughts he had with his dad were interfering with his future. The more he focused on his dad's shortcomings, the more intensity he sent to the Universe in this regard. The Universe has no judgement and would simply send more of the same and my son saw that happen with his group of friends. He started to list off how all of them have the same personality and characteristics of his dad that frustrated him. It was like that "Whack a Mole" game and as soon as one was removed another popped up in record time.
I asked my son to write out his feelings towards his dad on paper so that he didn't have to continue with the poison any longer. After four pages of feelings my son looked up at me with sadness in his eyes yet there was peace there as well because he got to get those words off his heart and chest. I asked him to then write down a more positive statement regarding what he would like in his relationship with his dad and this is what he wrote:
I enjoy his verbiage and imagery and look forward to this new chapter in his life; one with less moles.