Pain so affiliated to me
Pain I can't express enough of it
Pain because I'm a crossroad
Seems I was created to be everyone's second choice
S here by the railway track waiting to end it all
But don't judge me unless you have read my story.
"Alright, babe, I'll chat with you later". "I love you baby" I said on the phone.
‘Bye' Sean replied immediately as if he was waiting for the call to end. The line went dead and I felt butterflies in my stomach as if I was a 14 years old girl.
I held the neck chain Sean had given me on our fifth anniversary, so beautiful I thought for it was his grandma's most cherished jewelry. I felt the wind on my skin for it was a warm summers day.
Walking down the road I felt I was lucky to have him for he was so perfect and he was all I could ever ask for. Although I had been in several relationships in the past but this was different from the rest I have been in because I was so much in love with him and considered him as the ‘Special One' or so I thought.
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I made my way down the lonely street to the popular Magic Moment pub to take my normal evening tequila shots before heading to the Frat party with Sean later in the evening.
Stepping inside the Bar area of the Pub, I saw what made my heart bled. There sat Sean on the sofa caressing and kissing Janice the community property, I was so heartbroken but still, couldn't believe this was happening for I could literally catch a grenade for him.
I had to pick up my clutch bag and rush for the door tears welling up my eyes. I was trying to fight the tears but my knees felt feeble. I stepped out and felt the need to call and confirm from him what I saw.
‘Hello Baby?' I said fighting tears and the anger rising inside me.
‘Hey, where are you?' I added quickly
‘Oh I am at work, what about you?' he asked.
I felt the curiosity in his voice but I decided to play along
‘Just walked past your office' I said;
‘Didn't you see me?' he exclaimed.
‘See you right! I really did!!' I exclaimed sarcastically.
‘You did right?' he asked. But I knew I could no longer hold my anger anymore I exploded screaming at the top of my voice.
‘Yes, I saw you lying you son of a .... ! I saw you caressing and kissing the community slut' I said with disgust and anger oozing out through every word I muttered.
‘Babe I can explain, it was a mistake' he said but I knew there was no going back on this for it didn't look like a mistake to me.
I asked him for how long? ‘About 6 months' he said without remorse. My friends told me what they saw him do at a party but I waved it off calling them jealous, but now it was real and I wondered what happened to me, why did I feel much for him that I shut off my brain.
‘I don't believe you! Why did you hurt me? Why? I said sobbing louder.
‘Please forgive me, I still love you' he said.
‘Save your lies, I thought you were special and that you loved me but guess I was wrong because all you did was to use and deceive me; Thanks for hurting and shattering my heart' I yelled ending the call amidst
‘Save your lies, I thought you were special and that you loved me but guess I was wrong because all you did was to use and deceive me.
Thanks for hurting and shattering my heart' I yelled ending the call amidst his pleas.
But deep down I remembered how we met at the café and how nice he was, for it was love at first sight for me but now he has stabbed me so deep and not at the right time for I was already two weeks pregnant by him.
I knew my Step Mum will not hesitate to throw me into the street. The love of my life was gone and the shame of being pregnant without a father to stand by me was devastating. How can I go on?
I felt I had to end this once and for all running toward the railway tracks to await my end.
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